nothing much except poor paragraph construction.

I didn't get out of the shower until 3:30 today. E decided that she would rather shriek at her mother than nap. Normally I would have gotten up before she did to shower but she kept me up for two hours in the middle of the night so I was a wee bit tired. I am really susceptible to the mood-enhancing power of a shower. I must shower in the morning or I feel lazy and blah and stupid and ugly, so I sure felt great today! When E was a newborn, I got through the baby blues (not PPD, just that overwhelmed, hormonal feeling, coupled with some post-traumatic stress from the c-section and recovery from surgery in general) largely by the Planning of the Showers. Seriously, for about three or four weeks, I would actively sit and ponder when I could shower every day for the upcoming week. It was stuff like... hmm, Mom will be here on Monday, I can wait until she gets here. Then she'll spend the night and I can shower before she leaves. M will go in to work late on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, so I can have him wake me so I could shower. Monday.. oh dear oh dear, when will I shower on Monday? Maybe I can put her in the bouncy chair in the morning...hmmm. Or maybe one day she will be awake before M leaves and he can watch her while I shower. I think about those times a lot. It sounds bizarre when I am trying to explain it but it meant so much to me at the time. It gave my whole week structure, and (oh, this is sad) gave me something to look forward to. Those first few weeks are really just a haze by now. I can barely remember what it was like to have a newborn. I am thinking with nostalgia lately of those days when I could sit and hold my baby all day, though. Running after the monster all day is hard work. As they say, happiness isn't something you experience, it's something you remember.... hehe. The newborn days are harder work in a much different way. The hardest part, I think, is that you DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO when the wee little one is upset. No clues as to whether it's hunger or diaper or belly or overstimulation or temperature or sickness or boredom. Now, we almost always have a pretty good idea what might be wrong with her, which makes life so much easier.

I have decided to be a proactive consumer and email the company when something is not good. I just dumped an entire carton of orange juice because it tasted "off", so I have sent in my letter of complaint. I think they will probably send me a check for thirty million gazillion dollars to make it up to me. It's the right thing to do, after all! Or, well. Maybe they will send me a coupon for free juice. Maybe I will send emails to people when they make me happy, too. I will become the Give Me Free Stuff Lady. Maybe Ellen will invite me on her show. (Business Plan: Step 1... send emails. Step 2. ??? Step 3. ??? Step 4. FAME AND PROFIT.) One of the perks of being a SAHM is Ellen, I think. I don't watch it all the time or anything, but I enjoy listening to her sometimes because she is so funny and she seems like such a NICE person. I have also realized that one of my minor life goals is to attend the taping of a talk show. I DON'T KNOW WHY. I don't even like talk shows that much, although I guess you might be surprised by that since I have just claimed that Ellen DeGeneres is one of the best things about quitting my day job, but I did not mention my sweet, sweet baby.

Have you noticed that the paragraphs in this entry bear only a passing resemblence to coherent thoughts that stayed on topic?

Oh, dear. I hear crying. Please let it go away. *crosses fingers* Or.. not. I guess this might be a good time to stop typing.