Under the Same Sky

This is carrieb so you know what that means!  Ducky is here!

I just got off the phone with Kisha a few minutes ago and she sounded pretty tired and out of it.  She ended up getting the induction, then lots of drugs, then a c-section so she was disappointed about that.  Of course, she is very excited about the result!  A real, live, nursing-like-a-champ Ducky!

I know you all want to know the name, don't you?  

It's. . . . well. . . . 

Not decided yet.

They said they had a name all picked out weeks ago, but they just changed their mind at the last minute and aren't sure what to do yet.  She's being called Ducky right now, which is fitting.

Just the facts:
8 lbs 13 1/2 ounces (ouch!)
21.5 inches
born at 5:15 pm
2 weeks early

They should be released from the hospital on Tuesday because everything looks good.  

I'm so excited that I want to get in my car and drive to Far Away State* right this second!  Here's sending out a huge "welcome to the world" to my favorite little soul-niece and future-daughter-in-law.

*I totally can't remember if her state is public knowledge or not.

I had another appointment this morning, whereby I sat in an x-ray room (for no apparent reason) without my pants on (also for no apparent reason--they didn't check me, though it was offered) and found out... that my blood pressure had gone down, though it's still "borderline" and there was only a trace of protein in the urine today. Good news! Not good enough news that it took me off the risky chart, though--he fully intended to make me come back on Saturday morning for another check-up, but the clinic is in another town this week so he settled for Monday. He nixed any thoughts I had of going back to work like I had planned, but he did agree that I could go in for a couple of hours to wrap up a few things, and say goodbye, largely--it felt weird to leave on a Friday and just not come back at all, so I worked for a little over three hours this afternoon. Then I came home and completely passed out on the couch for an hour or two so I think maybe being at home right now is what I should be doing, as much as I hate to use my maternity leave before there's a baby. Like I said, he didn't check my cervix (as a matter of fact, he said that it was my body and I had control over it--he would encourage me to do it if he thought there was a reason but it was my choice--I appreciated that) so I don't know if I'm dilated/effaced/etc... though of course that doesn't necessarily matter. He did say, however, that they were quite unlikely to want me to go to my actual due date due to the pre-eclampsia. He expressed much greater reluctance at induction than other doctors seem to and told me that mother nature is best, and he fretted a moment about the risks of the baby's lungs not being mature. As much as I hate the idea of being induced, I will let them do it for an actual reason, I suppose, and pre-e seems to be an actual reason. Let's continue praying it doesn't come to that. My due date, by the way, is two weeks from Saturday. I guess that means that there will be a baby here in less than two weeks.

Ducky, however, has decided that she would like to play a super nifty prank on Mommy. You know how well-behaved babies drop before it's time to give birth to them? My darling baby girl has decided that being that low in my belly wasn't very much fun, so she moved herself back up under my ribs again last night. I didn't even know they could DO that after they were down there. I don't think she had dropped as low as she was supposed to, but she was definitely low enough that people had commented on it, and for a couple of weeks. Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night only once, and that's when I knew there was something odd going on, as two hours is generally all I can last. So, the nice thing is that she's not laying on my bladder anymore. The weird thing about that is that her bladder-lying tendencies didn't really change after she dropped the first time. It just didn't GET worse like it was supposed to, or if it did.. not by much. However, when I was just barely into my third trimester, we went to the day-long birthing class full of pregnant women farther along than me, and I ran to the bathroom much more often than the rest of them. I guess I was just lucky enough to have a baby that enjoyed that spot even while riding about as high up as possible. I am just hoping she is using this time to maneuver herself into position (facing down) instead of flipping her whole body around. And furthermore, said darling baby has aggravated my poor broken rib again--it had healed quite nicely, but is now giving me the occasional pang. Please don't break it again, baby.

Before I was pregnant, I didn't particularly know that babies are supposed to arrive face-down. They're harder to give birth to in any of the other positions than head down, facing the back. They can also arrive face-first, which is not particularly good at all. During the childbirth class, the nurse (who had quite a lot of personality and lots of fun stories) told us about one particular incident, where she called the resident doctor to let them know that a woman there was in labor with a face-first presentation. The snarky doctor did not appreciate being told this by a mere nurse, and he said, "oh, yeah, what would make you think that?" The nurse said, "Because when I checked her, the baby started sucking on my finger." And, I have thought about that story at least twice a week every since, because can you imagine? Sticking your hand in that particular location of another woman and having the distinctive feel of a tiny mouth SUCKING ON YOU? You can thank me for telling this story later, I'm sure you needed to hear about it too.

I can't believe I won't be going back to work for months! It feels so strange. But nice! I work with nice people and I will miss them, though. My boss is retiring at the end of the month and I am really disappointed that I will miss all of the festivities and planning for her reception and dinner and stuff. I guess it depends upon the duckling's progress whether or not I can go to any of it. Not to mention returning to work months later to have a new boss! This paragraph is not very entertaining but M specially requested that this post have at least four paragraphs, and since he is going out of his way to take care of my every need these days in order for me not to need to do anything, I figure I might as well humor him on the small things like post paragraph count. Unfortunately, I was wrapping up the third paragraph when he made his request, and suddenly, all topics in the entire bloggie world disappeared from my head. Sometimes, it be that way...

Two down. Sixteen billion to go. I sound like such a moron when I write stuff like this. courtesy, could you come here and help me make these sound just a tiny bit less lame-o? Thanks.

You remember how I went to the doctor and they freaked out over my gigantic fetus and made me come in on Thursday for an ultrasound to measure said gigantic fetus? Yeah. Worrying about my big baby is just SO last week now! Because now they're ready to worry about my blood pressure and the protein in my urine instead! Not a word mentioned about how I'm measuring or her size. I think part of that is just that I saw a different doctor today than last week, and I suppose they all have things they focus on more. This doctor phoned it in on the tape measure--I got the feeling he didn't care that much about the result.. which is okay since I didn't really want them to focus on it, since the only thing they're going to do now is apply pressure on the induction issue, I imagine.

The blood pressure was 148/98 the first time, and then they made me lay down on my left side for five minutes before she came back to take it again. It was still somewhat elevated, but I can't entirely remember if it was 130/90 or 130/98. Then there was the protein, and probably my swelling, so he became concerned about pre-eclampsia and told me to come back on Thursday to see what's going on with it. (I have graduated to TWICE A WEEK. Geez.) He left the room briefly and came back at an elevated worry level, and asked me if I was working anywhere right now, and when I said yes, he told me to take off work at least until Thursday's appointment, and he would let me know after that. I am to lay around the house and take it easy. He said his goodbyes, but as I was standing at the check-out, scheduling my next appointment, he comes up to tell me that he wants me to come back to the room and have blood drawn to have something to compare to on Thursday, if necessary. I do not know what was going on in these absences to increase the worry level.

I had today off anyway, but it is such a weird thing to suddenly have at least the next two and a half days off work, and possibly to have begun maternity leave already. It does really mess my beautiful maternity leave plan and leave slip and remaining hours up, though. :) I believe that our HR person thinks I'm absolutely nuts already, I was so organized.

M, of course, spent his lunch hour pacing around worrying. Then he called me back to let me know that as long as I was going to be doing nothing at home anyway, he wanted to give me some things to take care of. You know, like cutting down a tree, pulling down some vines, and if I get too tired, I can weed the irises. Ha! He would have felt REALLY bad if he came home to find all of that done. Naturally, there is not a chance of it actually happening. Seriously, though, he called with a real list of things to ask about. I thought it was cute. He wanted to know if I had Carrie's phone number in my phone (yes), the instructions for the LJ post thing (no, but will figure out), the cheap international calling plan from cell phone working (I need him to test this, but I have the instructions somewhere), and to tell me that we should have our bags packed and in the car (just in case) when we go to the doctor on Thursday. Then he wanted to know what I would do if my water were to break while I am home alone, and he listened to my plan carefully before giving it a nod of approval. He was (I don't know what I have done to deserve a man so adorable) worried about the electric seats in my car, and the leaking fluid and my risk of electrocution. I told him that I would probably call the L&D to make sure, but then (depending on the situation) either wait for him to get home (25 minutes) or call for assistance, since I probably wouldn't be safe to drive anyway--pretty sure he would have gotten to that if I hadn't said it, AND I intend to have plastic garbage bags available. To prevent the seats from getting wet to avoid electrocution. He seemed unusually satisfied with my answers. See, this is what happens when you worry, all of you doubters. You have plans! ;)

Anyway, after getting all of that off his chest, he seemed to be less concerned. I am personally not too worked up either, for some reason. I think it will be okay. However, I have now spent the last two hours telling and retelling this story, so I think it's time to go take a break and watch some daytime television. Doctor's orders.

Welcome to the first of many such posts, I'm guessing, but.. it is such an odd thing to sit around wondering if one is in labor and soon to meet their baby. I'm having pretty strong contractions, averaging three or four minutes apart probably. They even kept going when I got up and walked around and not just when sitting (though they're strongest when sitting with feet propped up, for some reason.) It's been going on for an hour and a half at this pace, but I've had them all evening long without timing them. They said to come in after a couple of hours at that pace. But.. that seems so.. well. Like something is going to happen. I would rather just stay here and maybe we'll just forget the whole thing because this idea of labor is kind of scary. Like, a lot. And they may be slowing down now, so we're still assuming that it's nothing. Agh, the anticipation!

Husband has had a very exciting day, for we took off this morning to his favorite place (Lowe's) and bought a brand-new toy for him--a riding lawn mower. I'm not supposed to post about that because he is a big dork and he says I will ruin his post. Then we had lunch with my parents, and brought the mower home (my parents brought their truck down for both bringing stuff and taking stuff back with them.) After that, my parents left, and M couldn't mow because of the rain, so we went off to have birthday celebration shopping, where I bought a pile of books for my birthday. Yay! The energy didn't last too long before we had to come home but we still had a nice time. Then we had a Name-That-Baby meeting to discuss again what we want to name Ducky. All in all, a nice way to begin being 28.

But why we're listening to Christmas music, I have no idea.

I know that she's sleepy because we totally saw her yawning this morning on the ultrasound! It was approximately the most adorable thing, ever. And her little hand was up by her face! We didn't get any pictures this time (boo) but oh, it was cute. She looked like a baby instead of kind of scary and skull-like. You couldn't really tell what she looked like, of course (which is good because we can have some surprises!) but definitely baby-shaped. They're not very photogenic this late in the game, as they're all squished up. The technician tried to see if she was still a girl, but couldn't look at her bottom. She probed at my belly while trying to see, and I can tell you this--Ducky did NOT like that at ALL, so we have decided that she is a modest, shy child. Friend KP raised her eyebrows at this and said, "Really? Cause I have met your husband." There is skepticism on that shy baby thing, apparently.

As for the rest, she was declared very "content" (not sure what that means but both the tech and the doctor said it) and she scored 8/8 on a biophysical profile test. Dr. Google says that it tests breathing, movements, muscle tone, fluids, etc. She is head down but face up, which isn't the optimal position, but at least her head is still down! I believe that part can happen very late in the game anyway. Oh, and what's that you said? How did the size thing turn out?

They think she's eight pounds. Did we talk about that part where I'm 36 weeks?

Okay, I will be officially 37 weeks on Saturday (unofficially, but accurately, 37 weeks today), and the estimate can be off a pound either way. I'm measuring 38.5 weeks. They are now saying that they will not only not try to stop me if I go into labor, but they will likely want to induce in a week or two. I thought I had four weeks before induction (41) so this did not quite please me--most of my labor fears have been tied up into an induction/epidural/c-section ball. Since I talked to the doctor today, he suggested that we reschedule my next appointment for the end of next week instead of on Monday. I said that was fine, but I do have Monday off work already so it would be more convenient for me to come then, and he was fine with that. I realized afterward that it might have bought me another week of induction-free time. He mentioned that they would maybe/probably check my cervix again (sigh) at the next visit, and decide what to do based on how things measure/look then, and possibly if I'm dilated. I figure that they're less likely to want to do anything on Monday than they would be on Friday next week, so that's good. The thing is.. I am anti-induction, and in particular I am not impressed with the idea of inducing just because she is a big baby, but at the same time, if they really feel like it would be in Ducky's best interest, then fine. I just would rather not go that route.

So, in light of that, this morning's appointment sort of changed the strategy. While every day before today, we have said, "I really hope Ducky doesn't come today,"... now we are changing our minds. I'm essentially 37 weeks, which they count as full term. I know that it doesn't mean that she's necessarily mature, but I would rather her make up her mind about that than inducing her while she's possibly not ready. So, we are now hoping that something DOES happen in the next week or two before they force an induction on me, and meanwhile praying that she really is healthy like they seem to think she is.

Maybe it helps that I have been having (relatively mild, not too frequent and certainly not regular) contractions, cramping and back pain all day long. ( cut briefly for the squeamish ) Of course.. who really knows? But it's kind of exciting anyway. M is on his way home, and I told him that I really think we need to spend the evening doing anything that we think really, really should be done before we have ourselves a baby. It may be three more weeks before I end up with a baby duck, but it's beginning to have a bit of urgency to the plans.

There is this cloth diaper hunt thing going on in May. I sat down to play a minute and suddenly lost an entire hour mindlessly clicking around looking for a blue diaper icon. It is so, so addicting. They're giving away prizes to the winners (randomly) and apparently I am a sucker because I couldn't stop myself from playing. I've found eleven so far. Apparently I thought i needed another time-waster right now. Brilliant.

We made an emergency trip to WalMart tonight to buy some compression hose for my poor, poor feet. Sexy! I can't wait.

After waiting eight weeks or something absurd like that for this night, I managed to not watch Veronica Mars after all. My mom had called before it came on, so I would have missed the first few minutes at least. I rather prefer watching them without commercials anyway, and it takes twenty minutes less time.

I was the target of stealth photography today. I looked up to find starrflowerr taking a picture of my ginormous belly. I feel like a tourist attraction. Yes, we work sometimes, why do you ask?

I slept for over twelve hours last night, which was oh-so-lovely. I have been operating on too little sleep lately. I showered last night before bed, and had my wonderful, delicious husband change the sheets, solely in hopes that I could sleep well. It worked! I did, however, dream that we took baby Ducky to daycare, and when we returned that evening, she was walking and talking and she didn't recognize us anymore. GEE, I WONDER WHAT THAT IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN. *sigh* I don't want to talk about that just now.

We went on a shopping expedition today, or at least we tried to. Much as always, we ended up spending more in gas than we did in actual purchases, and more in food than on gas. Seriously, we went with the intention of buying everything that we need and don't have, and you know what we came home with? One yellow swaddley thing, and we have a strong feeling that the girl won't even like it. We did stop at the wow-hippie store and talked to the lady about slings. I want one. I didn't end up buying one because wow, they are expensive. Do any of you know much about slings? Dawn? I looked at a wrap and a ring sling. Both of them had things that I liked about them and both were sixty bucks. (I think the wrap was a Moby and the ring was an EllaRoo.) I liked how the wrap could be so very discreet while nursing, but the ring sling seemed cooler and more comfortable. I gather that these are name-brands. Is it worth sixty bucks? Part of me thinks that the construction is not that difficult (especially of the wrap, since it consisted of what, eighteen feet of fabric without seams or anything?) and shouldn't I just make my own? Or at least order a generic/WAHM version online? I really rather wanted to just go ahead and buy one but I wasn't sure which one I should get and if I would get home and find out that I bought something for sixty dollars that I could have gotten for thirty online. On the other other hand, I like the idea of supporting this store. I could not make myself get into the babywearing research because I have done ENOUGH with the diapers, so it was greatly relieving to walk into the store, talk to a very nice, knowledgeable woman and let her demonstrate them all. Now I wish that I had just bought one and gotten it over with, but I didn't and now I don't know when I'll get back to Lexington to buy the stupid thing. Bah. I could just order one from her website but that seems dumb since I do live close enough to just go pick it up. Anyone have an opinion on what I should buy?

Speaking of an opinion of what to buy.. the little birdies keep saying that we need a place for the duckling to sleep for the first while in our room. We have looked at a cosleeper option (M hates it because the only one they had was "horribly ugly") and a bassinet option (which I don't like because how can you tell me that bumper pads are evil because they restrict air flow and cause SIDS and then have bassinets without mesh sides?) and a playpen option. The playpens are cheaper and can be used later as.. well.. playpens, although I guess a cloth-diapering, babywearing, breastfeeding (I hope!) mama isn't supposed to talk about about potentially caging her baby. ;) You know, I really hang out in some awful places online, don't I? I think that comes through sometimes. Anyway, they are kind of big and we have a small room, which is a drawback, and they look pretty uncomfortable to me. I just hate buying something that can only be used for a short while, I guess. I'd rather not just cosleep in the same bed because it scares me--not that other people do it at all, but for myself personally since we barely have enough room for the two of us to sleep as it is. Again, we chickened out on actually purchasing anything, but we are running out of time to make a decision.

In the second store we went to, I broke out in a cold sweat, and walked miserably around the third store until we finally decided to go home. The problem with these shopping expeditions these days--there are plenty of things we could spend money on, but I lack the energy to actually find them. I guess that's nature's way of making sure there's enough money to provide for a child when it arrives.... or maybe I should just start ordering things online tomorrow and get it over with. One or the other. We actually don't have much left to buy, though, after the showers. The sleeping thing is the big one. So, WWTID? (what would the internet do?)

I am allowing my husband to do something that feels kind of terrifying to me. I have relaxed my "belly shots are for skinny people" rule. Enjoy. (35w4d.)

(I am pretending that I am posting the above paragraph alone so that it is dramatic and suiting to the gravity of the moment. In truth, I just have absolutely nothing else to say tonight. Or at least, nothing I actually CAN say without putting a great deal of thought into it, and that just isn't happening tonight.)