(no subject)

Do you ever just really want to take a break from your real life? I have felt so... off lately. I don't want to do anything. I have been obsessively reading a series of books that I just finished tonight. (Farseer, Robin Hobb. Summary: main character is the worst assassin ever. But, really enjoyable in some way that I cannot put my finger on.) That has emphasized the whole thing but I don't think it's the cause of it. I suppose it's hormonal and seasonal more than anything. I have barely been cooking, and my kitchen was so pretty and clean for weeks and is now a mess, and the laundry is in piles and I don't even feel like doing coupony things, really. Being a stay-at-home mom--no, being a parent in general--is really, really great 98% of the time, but that 2%, which includes puking, night wakings, temper tantrums, and other such happy events, is a real bitch.

I'm not sure what's up with Evie right now but she had a fever all day yesterday. No sign of a cold or anything, just the fever. She was chewing on her hands, so we're theorizing that it's maybe her teeth? My mom was down on Monday and she was in a bad mood that day. I don't think my mom had ever seen her like that. I hadn't seen her quite in that mood either, actually. We were walking around in JC Penney's ands he was walking along with us and then she would get mad at us over the slightest thing and toss herself to the ground. No fight, no struggle, just to the ground and wailing her displeasure for all to hear. Anyway, we wondered then if she was getting sick. No sign of anything but the fever, though, which seemed to be gone today. Anyway, today was the least fun day of parenting I've had in a while. We had a pretty big fight over whether or not she should nap. I know that I should be able to shake it off because she's not even two and she doesn't understand what she's doing wrong, but sometimes, it is hard to get over being mad at her for the things she does.It's not hard in the way that I want to start beating on her, of course. It just makes you feel like a crappy mother when your toddler is screaming and hiting. I don't even know what I'm trying to say here. It was a long day. We went to have lunch with M, which was nice. Much screaming did occur during the day. Most of it involved reasons I never actually understood. I left two drugstores without buying anything. Such was the depth of my kid's bad mood and unwillingness to shop.

My eyes are burning so it's off to bed with me now, I think. I wonder if I could talk M into coming..