Unsent

[same_sky]

Dear Policeman,
Even though you do indeed have "Kentucky State Police" written on the front of your vehicle in an unappealing shade of brown, you should still refrain from driving in my lane. I happen to be occupying that space you're heading into at sixty miles an hour, and it makes me very nervous when you do that.

Dear People Who Are Afraid of Clowns,
I'm really sorry (but if you really are afraid of clowns, you should think twice of clicking there.. Everyone else, enjoy the newest issue of Mosaic Minds!)

Dear Company-That-Shall-Remain-Unnamed,
I don't feel sorry for you. You deserve it.

Dear Mary Higgins Clark,
You, madam, cannot write. Mary, although you do appear to have the capabilities to string words into sentences and incomprehensibly have actually managed to get someone to publish your work, you lack even the most insignificant skills as a writer. Mary, I have discovered this in the course of reading one of your novels, entitled Daddy's Little Girl. Mary, I just wanted to let you know that your heroine makes me gag, and believe me when I say that my affinity for characters with trauma relating to a deceased sibling is higher than most. Mary, don't capitalize Website. It makes you look like a jackass, Mary. Mary, actually, just don't talk about your Website at all, because you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, and yes, we can tell.

(P.S. Stop using your character's name in every sentence. Mary, it's really fucking annoying.)

Dear Scarf Still On Knitting Needles,
Please finish yourself up and let me wear you. It's cold and I'm lazy.

Dear American People,
Please vote. And while you're there, please remember that one candidate would like to block your access to birth control pills, as well as having a recognized anti-abortion stance, as well as a tendency to lie to the American people, and those are just the things I'm most upset about today. Do your own research, think hard about the people who served their country so well that they'll never vote again, and then vote for who your conscience tells you. That's all I'm asking. Just vote.

Dear Car In Front Of Me On My Way Home,
If you don't get off the ass of the person in front of you, you will find out what it's like to have a Buick on yours. Also, it was very cute the way you swerved out of the lane and into the path of oncoming traffic to avoid that fearsome leaf fluttering by. It might really have done some damage to that twenty-year-old Toyota you're driving.

Dear Husband,
That crack you just made about Counting Crows and the wail of a dying bird actually wasn't funny, you big dork. It was particuarly badly-timed on your part, as well, since I was just thinking that I loved that part of the song. You're mean. (I still love you. I guess..)

Dear Weekend,
I kiss the ground you walk on. I worship the air you breathe. I hold you inappropriately close.

Comments

[carrieb.livejournal.com]

Mary Higgins Clark is so so so so so awful that it's unbelievable! I love mysteries, so read her when I was still young and thought authors could do no wrong. Even I was appalled at her lack of skill. How how how did that woman ever get published?

Can you tell your scarf to tell my scarf to hurry up too?

[courtesy.livejournal.com]

:)


Brilliant.

[blue-eyed-girl.livejournal.com]

He mocked Counting Crows?! I'm shocked. Which song, and which part? I'm wondering if it's a part I love, too. :)

[ozswede.livejournal.com]

Inspired!

And may Mary Higgins Clark rot in her corner of hell (along with those who mock the counting crows)

And remind me never to get in the car with you :)

[same-sky.livejournal.com]

The part he mocked (without actually knowing it at first, although he guessed immediately--it was just a stray noise he heard through the cell phone--which was what made it not funny) was six and a half minutes into Round Here on Across a Wire, second CD...

Can't you see my walls crumbling down? Can't you see my sun stopped spinning around? Can't you see that sky turned black and brown? And can't you see that moon go flashing round? And can't you see me?

I wasn't a huge fan of the Across a Wire CDs when they first came out, but I've developed a major appreciation for them in the time since.. I listen to it a LOT while at the computer.

/Ready for a new release...

[same-sky.livejournal.com]

*I* am not the one driving into other lanes or swerving into oncoming traffic! I'm just the reporter of events! Except perhaps for that crack about the Buick.. I can maybe see your point there.

[same-sky.livejournal.com]

Why, thank you. :)

Hug Bijou for me!

[same-sky.livejournal.com]

I have no idea. I suspect it had to do with who she knows--you know, in the biblical sense. Honestly, I hope that's what it was, because otherwise, there is someone out there who thinks the woman can write, and that's a lot more terrifying.

I'll try to get my scarf to talk to yours, but frankly, said scarf pretty much has a mind of its own and I have limited hopes of it obeying.

[lizardek.livejournal.com]

That was a great post! I would like it so much if I could read a post like that every day. And if I could WRITE one, even better. And that CLOWN: *shudder* where DID you find that thing?!

[same-sky.livejournal.com]

Now, I can't give away ALL of my secrets, can I?* ;) I keep getting this impression that people think my clown is a little, shall we say, scary. It sure has been widely discussed, though.

*(P.S. Adobe Studio Exchange.)

[same-sky.livejournal.com]

P.S. Thanks. :) Forgot to say that.

[courtesy.livejournal.com]

Will do :) The more the better :)