Busy busy bees.

[same_sky]

I'm always surprised when I'm busy. After I realize that I'm stressed out, I can handle it, but until I figure it out--and I'm often too dumb to do it on my own--I'm all sorts of cranky. I don't know why. I actually went to the urgent care center a few years ago because my heart was skipping beats like crazy. I have some sort of thingie that causes that.. a doctor examined it at some point and said it was decently normal, although it usually appeared later in life, or something like that. It was much more often and much stronger than ever before, though.. I was lying in bed at night hoping I would wake up in the morning. It always gets worse when I drink too much caffeine, so I had already given that up (temporarily) with no result. Finally, M made me go get it checked out. "Are you under any stress?" they asked. "Oh, no," I said. "Well, I am in my last year of college, and I'm getting married next month, and my fiance hasn't yet been approved to move to this country so I'm dealing with immigrations, and I don't have a place to live or a source of income, but other than that, everything is just peachy!" Okay, so I made the conversation up, but my heart stopped doing that funky thing almost immediately afterwards.

Anyway, this is not like that.. just the average Christmas preparations, no major stress.. I just want to have more time for fun baking things (but my mom is a diabetic and M won't eat sweets and..) or other Martha Stewart pasttimes but at the same time, I want it all to be over with :) I went shopping today and accomplished next to nothing, but on the bright side, I rationalized another gift for M. I'm going to have to do emergency shopping tomorrow. I kind of wish there was less commercialism, like has been discussed by others, but at the same time, i do enjoy the present thing mostly.. as long as it's good-spirited.

Oops, apparently it's bedtime and I don't have time to write anything else. I hope everyone is having a great holiday season! :)

Comments

[courtesy.livejournal.com]

Filtered post with details of M's gifts!!! Filtered post!!! Curious!! :)

[stewlis.livejournal.com]

Ya know, my heart has been doing that same thing lately. It scared me half to death the first time it did it. I was laying in bed thinking, I hope this stops doing this soon, I don't wanna go to the ER, but this is really scary. I feel it more when I'm laying in bed trying to go to sleep than at any other time. It's like it goes beat, beat, beat.....BEAT! beat, beat, beat...BEAT! Yeah. And that last one kinda almost hurts a little. I thought I was having panic attacks or something, my sister said it was likely related to caffeine, so I cut that out a while but it didn't seem to have an affect one way or the other, but I did finally notice that it happens when I'm worried about something. Like you, I don't seem to realize I'm under stress at all until someone calls it to my attention! The doctor did once, and I was doing the same thing you did, "no...well, maybe a little, I babysit three kids, my husband is going on deployment for six or more months, possibly to war, we're getting ready to go home for a visit...but no I'm not under any kind of stress at all." Yeah. Just like that! I guess since I don't work, I think I should be stress-free.

I found that some exercise or mental break from things before going to bed helps a lot. Though, mine didn't start up til I switched birth control pills, and now my blood pressure is suddenly up, too, so maybe that has a lot to do with it. But I don't which is worse to put up with, migraines or the occasional weird heart beat thing.