Tuesday night

Timewasters--
I've been reading Caleyna's diary (there ya go, Carrie, doing my part to spread your ramblings to a larger audience). She linked to this game, Bookworm. So anyway, that's what Magnus and I have been doing for the last two days. Argh! I was sure I was safe, because I never get into games like this, but it turned out to be incredibly addictive. Hmm, guess I mentioned it in the last entry. But now you can all go play it too. :) I told Lisa about it and I think she's gotten the bug. hehe. I made myself close the window and stop playing so I could actually get something else done.

Daily news--
I made nonmicrowave popcorn tonight! For the first time ever! And it turned out all good and stuff! I was under the impression that it was hard to do, but it wasn't. My grandfather was at the ER this morning, but turned out to feel fine as the day went on and they tests came back okay, so that was definitely a good thing. More tests scheduled just as a precaution. Brad (15 year old cousin) came down to play Delta Force with Magnus, and I went to the parents for a few minutes and played with Krista (who was very happy to see me) and went to the grocery. Had dinner and Casey (other cousin, 10 or 11, I think) came and watched the game. Was afraid that would turn out troublesome.. there IS a third computer that theoretically he could have used, but it's mine, and I really really hate it when people other than Magnus touch it, and besides, I was planning on using it, and it's not installed here anyway. But he seemed content with just watching.

Musings--
Seems that people like to read about feelings. So tonight, as mentioned previously, I'll write about kids, and the interruption of any plans to move to Sweden.

I don't want to have children in Sweden. I don't particularly want to raise my children there. It's not that I don't like the country, or that I think that living there would deprive them of basic living necessities or anything. Lots of people raise normal human beings there, I just don't want to be one of them. People always think I'm off my rocker if I suggest this. Everyone knows that Sweden is the place for kids. "We treat them like small adults, with their own wants and needs!" they say. Personally, I don't really buy that, but it's not even the major problem I have.

I want to raise my kids near my family, for one thing. Yes, I realize that's selfish, considering the location of Magnus in relation to his family. No further rationale.

Secondly, I'm more than a little apprehensive about the actual childbirth proceedings in Sweden as compared to the US. From what I've been hearing--from pregnant ladies in Sweden--prenatal health care sucks, for the most part, compared to here. Less emphasis on precautions and tests, less emphasis on what the immigrant mother might want, and too much emphasis on whether or not they'll actually have a bed for you when you arrive. And furthermore, when I'm in significant amounts of pain, I want someone who'll speak my language.. literally.

The crime rates aren't even a factor to be considered. I live in a town of 20,000 (counting the entire county). Of course, there's crime.. but less than Stockholm, which is where we'd be living. Pollution.. less. Stress.. less. Water purity.. okay, not as good here, but they do sell filters. ;)

My county was recently named one of the top 100 school districts in the country. If something bad happens to someone, other people try to help. I know my neighbors.. or if I don't, my parents do. Or my aunt, or uncle, or grandparents. The cost of living is low. It's a nice place. I'm not a great fan of large cities (though I'm not completely against them or anything either.)

Anyway, that's a brief explanation of why the childbearing years will (if all goes as planned) be spent in the US. And of course, if possible you don't want to move them to another country while they're in school.. etcetera. That just leaves now. I'm 23. Our original plan was to have kids in around five more years. I think we'll be ready before that now, but not this year or anything. So essentially, if we move to Sweden, it needs to be now. Only right now, we don't have a job, a place to live, and nor do we have the spare cash to ship our stuff in the hopes that everything turns out the way we want. And assuming that we DID move to Sweden. What then? When the rabbit dies, we quit our jobs and run back here, with no income?

We're too practical to want to make such a change for the fun of it. I think it'd be great to live abroad for a year or two.. but then I'd want to come home. I had a great time when I was there for two and a half months. But I'm prone to homesickness, and Magnus is not. This is his home, in all the ways that matter.

So that's the gist of it. I found it very interesting that only one person asked us what our kidplans were while we were in Sweden in May. I figured that there would be more--we'd been married for nearly two years and Magnus is approaching 30. (I don't think most of his friends and such realize that I'm five years younger than him.) Maybe they were just being less nosy than my family. Maybe it's a cultural thing. Maybe no one cares. I don't know.

Wednesday night

We ended up in Lexington out of the blue today. That was pleasant, although we barely bought anything. I got some real tatting thread and my hubby decided to become a painter, and thus bought a largeish canvas. He started on it after we got home.. I think it'll look cool, though if it does, he'll want to cover every wall in our house with paintings.. ;)

It's funny, that. We have been super creative lately, or at least very into creative pursuits. The more we take up, the more we think of doing. Currently, we're actively into web design, mandolin and electric guitar building, cross-stitch, tatting, painting, writing and cooking. We keep coming up with more things we want to work on, too, but that we don't have much time for. It's a bit weird, as neither of us were particularly megacrafty before.

It sorta reminds me of a conversation we had a while back. You will not see the connection, but that's okay. See, I've had some pretty bad friends in my short life. Magnus says I'm a nurturer. I seem to attract broken people. This tendency is more obvious with some of the mud friends I've had, but it applies to my real life even more. It just takes longer to notice. The problem is that once I fix them, they don't need me anymore. ;) It also means that the person on the giving side will eventually get burned when it's their turn to be on the receiving side. I was going to give three notable examples of such friends, but it's not important anymore and I don't want to get into it tonight. He's had the same sort of function for people, though I don't think his real life was affected in quite the same ways. He's much smarter than I am, or luckier.

Anyway, now that we're married, we spend much more time taking care of each other than we do taking care of ourselves. He buys me cookie dough ice cream at midnight and I make him gigantic sandwiches. He brings me flowers and I buy him Pez. He plays with my hair and I answer the phone cause he doesn't like to. Neither of us see the point in fighting, and we're still openly affectionate in front of anyone who happens to be around. In short, we drive everyone crazy.

But that's the connection. I've been thinking that maybe our creative impulses are finally being set free because we're finally in happy and healthy meaningful relationships. (By relationships, I'm not talking about romantic involvements necessarily.) We're not wasting massive amounts of energy on the irresolvable troubles of other people anymore, so perhaps we're able to work on ourselves for a change.

All this is, of course, wild speculation and theorizing, but I like it, regardless. Night folks. :)