i really don't have anything to say but i will pretend

I tried to get M to call and do a phone post just now in lieu of me writing something, because he is so funny. He, however, said that he couldn't repeat his whole big story to save his life, so alas, it isn't to be. Let's just say it ended with a marketing representative promising Jesus a full 45-seconds of Super Bowl time. I think you would have had to have been there.

I need cookies. Why are there no cookies?

I am still hobbling around like an old lady due to Sunday's exertions at the caves. Today was so much better than yesterday, though. I have high hopes for tomorrow being better.

I should probably give up caffeine, as my heart just skipped a beat again tonight. I had limited myself to two pops per day (and don't even get me started on that) but my whacked-out insulin issues required me to start drinking more. You would think I am just making excuses but I am totally serious. I have whined before about how my medicine makes me queasy until lunchtime? Eating sometimes seems to help, so I tried adding snacks in the morning. I gave it up as a failed experiment until I happened upon the recipe for success--Pepsi and a salty snack. I tried, really I did, to come up with a healthy alternative. I started off with a little bit of sharp cheddar and apple sauce. I tried eating a banana. It all only made things worse. The best thing so far, though, is cashews, salted to the point of insanity. Nuts are actually supposed to be good for people with sugar issues, though, so I don't feel too bad about it. Coincidentally, I have lost four pounds since I added my unhealthy morning snack, and I've felt less queasy, so I really don't care that much, I guess.. except that I should probably make one of those sodas caffeine-free. And if I didn't feel like caffeine-free pop was an abomination unto this world, I would totally do that. Blah. Why can't anything be good and good for you?

Back to the heart thing since I am having a serious lackage of things to write about.. I have always been prone to fluttery beat-skipping. I don't know that I've ever mentioned it here, though. Actually, I've had it very, very little since I've been married, and it's just now and then when it does appear. I used to have it much more.. it is definitely made worse by caffeine but not caused by it. (I have occasionally gone cold-turkey on the caffeine for this very purpose, but I haven't had to do it in a very long time... it goes in spells.) Doctors have generally said that it's nothing to worry about, but just before M moved here, it was doing it so much that it scared me. I would lay in bed at night and worry that I wouldn't wake up. I could imagine people shaking their heads and saying, "Oh, it's so sad.. she was so young, and just about to get married!" When I confessed thoughts of that nature to M, sitting on the other side of the world, he freaked the fuck right out and made me go to the doctor RIGHT NOW. So I went out to the clinic and they said, "Hmm.. are you under any particular stress?" And I said, "No, I don't think so." And then I thought, well, nothing except that I just left the love of my life on another continent to come back here to wait for him to join me, we don't know for sure that his immigration papers will be approved, I'm trying to plan a wedding but we can't even set a date because of the uncertainty of when he will move, I need to find a place for us to live and finish my last year of college, but other than that, no stress! And they scheduled me for tests but as soon as I realized that I was just really stressed out, I was able to relax and it stopped doing it.

Clearly, I am stressed out and should take a day off tomorrow to relax. *nods* I think that is an excellent idea.