shopping, also, breasts.

I bought a lovely pink maternity shirt at Chain Maternity Store With Horrendeous Return Policies, and it is really cute, and I got a lot of compliments on it the only time I've worn it before. I have it on today because I am meeting my family for a day of shopping, and they will love it because I look--if you'll pardon my immodesty--damned cute and very pregnant. The only problem with it is that it is tight across the chest, and it is driving me crazy. I tried it on in the store and it wasn't tight. I brought it home and tried it on (wearing another bra) and it was so tight that I was planning on returning it... until I realized just how crappy their return policies actually are. (Ten days, with tags on, store credit only.) But last week when I wore it, it was still decently okay, but today it just feels too snug. Part of the problem is that I do not routinely wear busty snug shirts because God did not short me in the breast department, let's just put it that way. But it reminded me of something that I have been meaning to say about the whole maternity wear thing. Does every other pregnant women really, really want to show off their assets? I have tried on shirts that looked great, but for the fact that they bared more skin than my bathing suit does. They showed undergarments that should not be shown. Is this really necessary? Don't you think most busty women want to cover even MORE than they did before than less? Apparently not.

I am typing this right now for no other reason than I really hate waiting, and I can't leave yet. I get really antsy when I have a specific thing to do in a set amount of time, and I have absolutely nothing to do before then. It's especially bad when people are coming over, because then my house is already clean and everything makes a mess. I'm supposed to meet my mom and dad at a baby store in Lexington (which is semi-halfway between us--closer to me than them.) We will eventually meet up with the rest of the clan, and i have no idea what the rest of the day will entail except that we will be eating at Olive Garden. Not really my choice, but it's okay, I guess.

My cousin has a daughter, Alex, who's nine. Recently, they were eating at the very most cliched of Kentucky restaurants--you know which one--and Alex says, "Mommy, why does it hurt when you eat?" That kind of sent up a few warning flags there, because what the heck do you mean, it hurts when you eat? Apparently, swallowing food has hurt her for long enough that she thought it hurt for everyone, so she'd never mentioned it. Anyway, she had some tests scheduled early this morning to check out her esophagus and.. I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, so I suppose I can admit that I don't know what else they're checking out. Meanwhile, my cousin Rae, who moved to North Carolina last year, flew in with her baby last night for her first visit since October. So, there is a plan to combine the two events into one long shopping trip. Much of the crew spent the night last night in a hotel near the hospital in question, and we are supposed to meet up with them... somewhere. Sometime. My family cannot plan. But hopefully we'll have fun anyway...

Research Mode: On (cloth diapers)

I am kind of interested in using cloth diapers with Ducky. Maybe. Well, I am thinking that it's our best option, but I'm still not sure that it's the right one for us. I don't know if I* would like it, or if I could stay with it, or if the dirty diaper laundry would drive me crazy. My own reasons for considering it, if anyone is curious, has to do with the amount of money that you literally throw away, the amount of waste (both diaper and human waste) that ends up in landfills and the health benefits. Honestly, the original factor was that disposable diapers have *possibly* been linked to male infertility. That's when M and I started wondering about the ethics of us, as an infertile couple, using a product that we are aware might lead to the same problem in our kid. (By the way, please don't take this wrong. I really have no opinion about how someone else diapers their kids. It's not something we feel strongly about, just something that we have discussed upon occasion and committed to researching more before deciding. I don't have stats handy about what sort of link it is, or how accurate it is--that's part of what I plan to research. It is entirely likely that we will end up using disposables with any and all of our kids, regardless of what said research finds. But, have you met me? I WORRY. And then I Google.)

Anyway, the world of cloth diapering is big and complicated, and I began delving into the researching tonight. There are all these abbreviations and a variety of types and methods and there are a blue million moms selling their own diaper supplies on their websites. It's a completely foreign language to me, but I'm gradually picking up on it. I think Google is pretty adequately prepared with resources to help me decide whether or not I should give it a whirl and how to get started, and I've bookmarked the LJ community, etc. It's the more personal side I was curious about.

1. Have any of you done the cloth diaper thing? Considered it? Tried it? Known people who did it successfully? Decided against it for a practical reason that I'm not thinking about? Had no interest in it?
2. Will you make fun of me if I use cloth diapers?
3. Will you make fun of me if I decide, before actually having a baby, to use cloth diapers and then give it up because it's driving me crazy?
4. Am I too concerned with what people think about the whole diaper deal, as judging from these last three questions? I think I may be worried about the reaction from my family, who I suspect will be ready to see an insult that isn't intended. I love them but I know how they are.
5. Am I just thinking about this because I am contrary and weird and like to make things difficult for myself?
6. How much self-reflection is actually involved in a decision like this, anyway? I think I should have skipped that pop psychology class in college.

*M is also involved in this decision, but he is of the opinion that I am the one who does laundry, and so I get to make the final decision. I think he's generally in the pro-cloth camp, but from a theoretical standpoint rather than a practical one. On a secondary note, this will also probably be a joint cloth/disposable household even if we go that route, because I think that disposables are what daycares require. (Not positive there, but that's my impression.)

There are an embarrassing number of disclaimers in this post. I need to work on that--and I did edit out half of them. You all should know that I think you're good parents, or I wouldn't ask for your opinions, but there are nasty places on the internet called "mommy blogs" where trolls lurk and say mean things about the way one raises their kids, and I have spent too much time in those scary places.