Research Mode: On (cloth diapers)

[same_sky]

I am kind of interested in using cloth diapers with Ducky. Maybe. Well, I am thinking that it's our best option, but I'm still not sure that it's the right one for us. I don't know if I* would like it, or if I could stay with it, or if the dirty diaper laundry would drive me crazy. My own reasons for considering it, if anyone is curious, has to do with the amount of money that you literally throw away, the amount of waste (both diaper and human waste) that ends up in landfills and the health benefits. Honestly, the original factor was that disposable diapers have *possibly* been linked to male infertility. That's when M and I started wondering about the ethics of us, as an infertile couple, using a product that we are aware might lead to the same problem in our kid. (By the way, please don't take this wrong. I really have no opinion about how someone else diapers their kids. It's not something we feel strongly about, just something that we have discussed upon occasion and committed to researching more before deciding. I don't have stats handy about what sort of link it is, or how accurate it is--that's part of what I plan to research. It is entirely likely that we will end up using disposables with any and all of our kids, regardless of what said research finds. But, have you met me? I WORRY. And then I Google.)

Anyway, the world of cloth diapering is big and complicated, and I began delving into the researching tonight. There are all these abbreviations and a variety of types and methods and there are a blue million moms selling their own diaper supplies on their websites. It's a completely foreign language to me, but I'm gradually picking up on it. I think Google is pretty adequately prepared with resources to help me decide whether or not I should give it a whirl and how to get started, and I've bookmarked the LJ community, etc. It's the more personal side I was curious about.

1. Have any of you done the cloth diaper thing? Considered it? Tried it? Known people who did it successfully? Decided against it for a practical reason that I'm not thinking about? Had no interest in it?
2. Will you make fun of me if I use cloth diapers?
3. Will you make fun of me if I decide, before actually having a baby, to use cloth diapers and then give it up because it's driving me crazy?
4. Am I too concerned with what people think about the whole diaper deal, as judging from these last three questions? I think I may be worried about the reaction from my family, who I suspect will be ready to see an insult that isn't intended. I love them but I know how they are.
5. Am I just thinking about this because I am contrary and weird and like to make things difficult for myself?
6. How much self-reflection is actually involved in a decision like this, anyway? I think I should have skipped that pop psychology class in college.

*M is also involved in this decision, but he is of the opinion that I am the one who does laundry, and so I get to make the final decision. I think he's generally in the pro-cloth camp, but from a theoretical standpoint rather than a practical one. On a secondary note, this will also probably be a joint cloth/disposable household even if we go that route, because I think that disposables are what daycares require. (Not positive there, but that's my impression.)

There are an embarrassing number of disclaimers in this post. I need to work on that--and I did edit out half of them. You all should know that I think you're good parents, or I wouldn't ask for your opinions, but there are nasty places on the internet called "mommy blogs" where trolls lurk and say mean things about the way one raises their kids, and I have spent too much time in those scary places.

Comments

[helloheather.livejournal.com]

1. I haven't done the cloth diaper thing, but we really wanted to with Nathan. We just didn't get our act together in time for him to be born, and so we started with disposables. Then we just kept going.

2. I would absolutely not make fun of you if you used cloth diapers. I would be impressed.

3. I wouldn't make fun of you for deciding one thing and then doing something different, either. That's what we did, after all.

4. I don't see why your family would be insulted. And it is natural to wonder what other people would think. That doesn't mean you're basing your decision on other people's opinions.

5. Possibly.

6. Quite a bit, apparently.

:)

[same-sky.livejournal.com]

It's not too late to switch, I could use a role model. ;) Just kidding. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who wanted to, at least!

[blue-eyed-girl.livejournal.com]

I've always been interested in cloth-diapering, and we did buy a whole bunch of cloth diaper supplies the summer I was pregnant with Tage, but we didn't use them more than a handful of times. I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that the kind of diapers we bought turned out not to be very absorbent or well-fitting (they were Imse Vimse). I always wanted some of the really nice ones, but I could never justify the cost (especially after we spent so much on the ones we didn't use).

[same-sky.livejournal.com]

Imse Vimse sounds really funny. I think the start-up costs are part of what scares me.. that and buying a start-up variety to see which kind work best for us. We'll see how it goes. :)

[queensheba.livejournal.com]

mayna's journal would be a good one to check out for all kinds of mom-type info. She's cloth-diapered her kids and she's also experimented with making and using a lot of the different kinds of cloth diapers.

My personal opinion: you should do whatever feels best for you and M. and you should not let anyone make you feel bad or guilty about it either way. If you're still going to be a working mom outside the home and cloth diapers are just too much for you to deal with, don't feel bad if you don't want to. If it works for you, great.

[same-sky.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the user recommendation. :)

I shall try not to let anyone make me feel bad or guilty. It would be easier if I didn't have such an easy guilt switch. ;)

[e11en.livejournal.com]

1. Have any of you done the cloth diaper thing? Considered it? Tried it? Known people who did it successfully? Decided against it for a practical reason that I'm not thinking about? Had no interest in it?
I never considered it because I don't have the time to be doing any extra laundry - we barely can keep on top of the laundry we already have - and when Ingrid was born our laundry set up was far from ideal (dryer in the basement which could only be reached by going outside and down 200 year old stone steps, in winter, in the dark, etc.). I do know people who have done it, and I guess, therefore, they've been successful, but I never asked them a lot of questions about it.

2. Will you make fun of me if I use cloth diapers?
Never!

3. Will you make fun of me if I decide, before actually having a baby, to use cloth diapers and then give it up because it's driving me crazy?
Never!

4. Am I too concerned with what people think about the whole diaper deal, as judging from these last three questions? I think I may be worried about the reaction from my family, who I suspect will be ready to see an insult that isn't intended. I love them but I know how they are.
Yes, you are too concerned but that is you and you are 100% spot on about your family but what else is new? Don't tell them you are thinking about it and then just cross that bridge when you come to it.

5. Am I just thinking about this because I am contrary and weird and like to make things difficult for myself?
No, you are thinking about it because this is what people expecting their first baby do. I did a lot of this kind of searching out information, trying to decide what was good and what was right for us, when I was pregnant with Ingrid. By the time I was pregnant with Anders most of those questions had already been answered or I didn't have the time to care enough to do something other than the familiar. If I'd had this journal back with my first pregnancy, it would have looked a lot like yours does with these concerns.

6. How much self-reflection is actually involved in a decision like this, anyway? I think I should have skipped that pop psychology class in college.

Self-reflection is good. Just don't get stuck there and you'll be fine.

Here's some assvice for you. Look for diaper services. The daycare we had the children at as babies would do cloth diapering and even offered to set up an account with a diaper service if there were enough interested parties, but there were not. I contemplated switching because I so liked the idea of a diaper service (which was how my mother survived lo those many years with those many children in diapers) but we lived too far away from the service for them to do our home as well and I so didn't like the idea of hauling stinky diapers around in my car to drop them off with the service.

[same-sky.livejournal.com]

I loved this comment. You know me so well! I am pretty sure that there isn't going to be a diaper service in my area. We're pretty rural, especially out in my direction. (I can't believe I live in a capital city and am saying this.) I have only asked Google in the most cursory fashion, though. I'll check it out.

[courtesy.livejournal.com]

Surely it's a relief to know that I will make fun of you no matter what, so you can stop worrying about it.

But seriously, I think new mums (and dads) deserve the right to change their minds about things at least seven times in the first six months. You see there I'm allowing for one time per month PLUS an extra time. Me, I'd probably exceed that, and even throw in trying palm leaves as well so I have no good advice except to say just have fun experimenting because I will copy whatever you do when I have kids (as long as it doesn't involve extra washing).

:)

[same-sky.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is a relief to know that you plan on ridiculing me no matter what. That made me laugh. You are very good at getting to the heart of the matter! :) I am sure I'll use up my allottment (and yours) of changing minds pretty quickly, but I guess that's okay. :)

[carrieb.livejournal.com]

I really wanted to do cloth diapering with Erik b/c it just seems like it would be so much healthier for his little butt. Mike does the laundry and Mike let out a resounding NO. I talked to Julival about it (she did cloth diapering with her two boys for six months or so each I think) and it sounds like it can get pretty messy so I don't feel too bad that I didn't do it. Those pre-solid squirts get everywhere.

I will be impressed if you go the cloth diaper route and will not make fun of you if you decide it's too difficult.

As for your family. . . you are probably right. I've found that my family believes anything we do differently from them is an insult instead of a personal choice based on our preferences. In some ways it is nice to live so far away because then we don't really have to tell them our business. You won't have that luxury. Really, though, I always remember a comment someone made to Heather's journal when she was thinking about the circumcision question: Uncle Leo doesn't need to know about your kid's penis. I've been applying that general principal to a lot of things. Not every person needs to know about our sleep struggles, for instance. Not that it really helps with your particular family situation, though, since I think if your mom knows something the whole clan will know something.

(I just about asked if they were going to freak out if you don't circumcise the baby, assuming M the Swede would be anti-snip, then I remembered! Ducky is a girl!!!! I'm 100% certain they would freak out if you went the female circumcision route *lol*. Ok, that's not really funny. But it is.)

The one thing that drives me CRAZY about being a parent is that everyone and their dog has an opinion about everything and so many people take it personally if you don't do things their way. The whole "mommy wars" thing is kind of funny though. I've found a real sense of solidarity among mothers with babies, but it is the mothers with older children that seem to freak out if you do something differntly from the way they did.

Ramble ramble ramble. I don't even remember what questions I am supposed to be answering now.

[helloheather.livejournal.com]

Uncle Leo doesn't need to know about your kid's penis.

So true, so true. And really, it's advice that has done me well. Ha...Carrie I'm surprised you remembered that.

[same-sky.livejournal.com]

*laugh* I am 100% certain that they would freak if we snipped Miss Ducky, too! So would everyone else! ;) I had tested the waters about that with my mom already, knowing that there would be no other decision for us, and I'm positive that she would have been okay with it. Actually, it seemed like she had thought of the issue much later, and was in general agreement or indecision, either of which is good. She could have helped smooth the waters there, I think--the only part I was worried about were the questions from cousins with little boys who didn't make the same decision. I don't think they would freak about the concept, but then they would ask why and that's when they would get peeved.

In my case, I do the laundry and I don't actually mind doing it, either. It's my favorite chore (as far as chores go) so that helps. Of course, generally I'm not laundering poo, but still.

I think I will adopt an uninformed Uncle Leo, too, where possible. That's a good point. ;)

[carrieb.livejournal.com]

Even though I am totally against circumcision now and think no one should do it, I find it is pretty easy to avoid conflict with those people who've already snipped their boys by saying "oh, it's just not done in Sweden so since I'm married to a Swede we didn't do it". When I'd really like to say "Why on earth would I CUT OFF a piece of my BAYYYYYYBEEEEEEE!!!!!" Not that I care what other's do, but that's my personal feeling.

I don't know why I thought I had to "announce" the decisions we made for Erik. "We will be co-sleeping!" Really, why did I think anyone needed to know that? I like the uninformed Uncle Leo. He doesn't need to know that I really hate feeding Erik anything that isn't organic. He doesn't need to know we co-sleep. He doesn't need to know Erik lifts my shirt up adn starts sucking these days. Only people who actually see it (and the people in my computer, though I've learned not to share everything) need to know it. I think I'm so open I just never even thought that it would be acceptable and ok to not mention everything we did.

[mamakoolaid.livejournal.com]

I used cloth diapers with Dylann for the first year because she always got some really weird rash whenever I used disposables. We tried pretty much every brand available at the time and they all caused her to have strange rashes that only went away when we switched to cloth when she was about two months old. We used the all-in-ones (diaper with covers and they close with velcro rather than diaper pins) and used diaper liners for MUCH easier cleanup. They definitely have perks as far as saving money and always having one on hand instead of running out and having to buy more. And yes, you aren't contributing to the landfill problem. Or possible health risks.

The only aggravations I had with the cloth diapers were: I seemed to be washing diapers ALL the time, you have to make sure you have something to put the diaper in after you change the baby when you're away from home because you can't just toss it in the garbage can like with disposables and you have to make sure you really get them clean and rinsed in the wash because certain detergents can irritate the baby's skin.

All in all, though, if I ever have another wee one, I'd probably use the cloth diapers again.

[same-sky.livejournal.com]

Ahh, a person who's used them! I'm glad to hear that you didn't have much trouble from them. I still haven't completely made up my mind but let's hope that weird rashes are not what swings the balance. ;)