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I hate getting interrupted while I'm trying to work on something, which is probably why I don't get nearly as much done as I'd like. The girl has been in a cranky mood for the last two days, which involves a lot of whining and shrieking and clawing of my eyeballs. That last one is done by me, to me, of course. I don't handle whining well. I told M last night that although she is the light of my life and I love her more than anything and could never hurt her, she was driving me freaking crazy. (I had to preface it so that it didn't come out scary to anyone.) The night before, she was flailing on the changing table and doing her signature move (twisting around, throwing her legs up in the air and slamming them into the side of my left breast for leverage for more twisting power, so I grabbed at her legs to push them down and jerked away from being kicked again and made an exasperated sound, and M said, "do you want me to do that for you? You seem like you're getting.. angry." And I am so glad that he is patient and kind and loving to his baby girl but she does this to me fifteen times per day and so yes, occasionally I kind of lose my patience with the whining and the kicking and the fighting, so then I just felt guilty like I was being mean to her instead of just trying to put a nice dry diaper on her little tushie. I love staying at home with my baby but sometimes it is harder than other times. It is still loads better than working, though! ;)
Speaking of working, I have had lunch just once or twice with a girl from work since September, and talked to two others on the phone one afternoon. (That was the day that Evelyn re-discovered fart noises and spent the entire time in the background making them. Great!) I worked six minutes from home. Looks like I would have called them now and then to have lunch or something, doesn't it? Hehe. I am such a hermit.
A couple of weeks ago I was at Walmart with my parents. We had been to lunch, and by the time we were shopping, it was way past time for Evelyn to have a diaper change and a snack. I usually will do that in the car before we go in somewhere, but my dad dropped us all off at the door before I had a chance to say anything about it, and it was cold and nasty and icy outside, so I didn't want to return to the car after I was in. So I end up dragging her and the diaper bag into the bathroom, because what am I going to do, whip it out right there in the Electronics department in front of my dad and everyone else? Once I was in there, though, I was a bit perplexed at what I was actually going to DO. The toilets didn't have lids and I wasn't about to sit down on the thing with my clothes on--I don't sit directly on public toilet seats when using them so I'm sure not going to just for fun. I had the ring sling in my diaper bag, so I pulled it out and draped it around me so that it relieved a little of the strain on my arms from holding her standing up (in the handicapped stall). I couldn't put it on her properly while nursing her and I didn't think she'd go for it anyway. So I am standing there with things hanging out, a couple of yards of fabric bunched around me and my arms dying from holding her like that for so long, and the longer I stand there... which thankfully, she does not eat for very long at one time, usually... the madder I am getting. Why do we live in a world that shames mothers for not breastfeeding their children while making it such a production to find a place to feed their children if they do? I am more modest than many--I believe in someone's right to be much more open, but I am just a bit shy myself. There is no support from the world at large, and people treat breastfeeding as if it's something shameful. I guess I am part of the problem because I am standing there in a nasty bathroom feeding my baby, but I am also a product of my world, you know? I believe it's Evelyn's right to eat when she is hungry but I am not comfortable doing it in the aisles of a busy store because I know how people think. It makes me really sad and angry. So, the question of the day is... what is the most inconvenient/awkward/embarrassing place that you have needed to feed your baby? What did you do? Or does everyone else just feel more confident about being open about it? Alternately, if you don't have kids or don't breastfeed, what do you think you would do in that situation?
Speaking of working, I have had lunch just once or twice with a girl from work since September, and talked to two others on the phone one afternoon. (That was the day that Evelyn re-discovered fart noises and spent the entire time in the background making them. Great!) I worked six minutes from home. Looks like I would have called them now and then to have lunch or something, doesn't it? Hehe. I am such a hermit.
A couple of weeks ago I was at Walmart with my parents. We had been to lunch, and by the time we were shopping, it was way past time for Evelyn to have a diaper change and a snack. I usually will do that in the car before we go in somewhere, but my dad dropped us all off at the door before I had a chance to say anything about it, and it was cold and nasty and icy outside, so I didn't want to return to the car after I was in. So I end up dragging her and the diaper bag into the bathroom, because what am I going to do, whip it out right there in the Electronics department in front of my dad and everyone else? Once I was in there, though, I was a bit perplexed at what I was actually going to DO. The toilets didn't have lids and I wasn't about to sit down on the thing with my clothes on--I don't sit directly on public toilet seats when using them so I'm sure not going to just for fun. I had the ring sling in my diaper bag, so I pulled it out and draped it around me so that it relieved a little of the strain on my arms from holding her standing up (in the handicapped stall). I couldn't put it on her properly while nursing her and I didn't think she'd go for it anyway. So I am standing there with things hanging out, a couple of yards of fabric bunched around me and my arms dying from holding her like that for so long, and the longer I stand there... which thankfully, she does not eat for very long at one time, usually... the madder I am getting. Why do we live in a world that shames mothers for not breastfeeding their children while making it such a production to find a place to feed their children if they do? I am more modest than many--I believe in someone's right to be much more open, but I am just a bit shy myself. There is no support from the world at large, and people treat breastfeeding as if it's something shameful. I guess I am part of the problem because I am standing there in a nasty bathroom feeding my baby, but I am also a product of my world, you know? I believe it's Evelyn's right to eat when she is hungry but I am not comfortable doing it in the aisles of a busy store because I know how people think. It makes me really sad and angry. So, the question of the day is... what is the most inconvenient/awkward/embarrassing place that you have needed to feed your baby? What did you do? Or does everyone else just feel more confident about being open about it? Alternately, if you don't have kids or don't breastfeed, what do you think you would do in that situation?
