sleep

I just thrust E at M and came in here to hide from my kid. She is doing the bedtime fighting thing and she has driven me absolutely up the wall. She was up for two hours last night, she fought her nap and managed to delay it for an hour and now she is kicking and fighting over going to bed. I know that people probably think I am a horrible sucker anyway for giving in to her over the bedtime thing, but most of the time, it doesn't bother me that badly. I mean, I sit in the dark for an hour reading Bloglines while holding a sweet baby, who might take that long to fall solidly asleep but she is usually pretty calm. Usually, she is asleep while eating. It's not preferable to her falling asleep easily on her own, but it's nice anyway. But when she is bad, she is horrid, and though I know that I am supposed to like, feel sympathy for her (her belly is clearly hurting her), when she is kicking me in the throat and twisting her little self around like that, I just get so mad that I can hardly stand it. And then that makes me feel like a crappy person because well, M is in there right now playing with her, and HE isn't mad at her. But then, he is not the one who got kicked in the face and neck and screamed on for an hour. She's twenty months old. I am still breastfeeding her like she was a freaking newborn. At this point, I rather feel like I am doing her a favor by letting her nurse to sleep instead of crying it out. She should thank me instead of freaking kicking me.

(In the long run, am I doing her a favor? Eh. Questionable, at best. But it's what she wants so she should bloody well appreciate it while it lasts, you know? 2009 is the year of weaning, after all! Of course, I didn't exactly send her the memo about it so I'm sure that's her excuse.)

And I almost just fell asleep. I guess it's time to go check on the baby and see if she's ready to try again. Silly baby. She was actually pretty good today, for the most part, except for the sleeping issues, so I am not generally unhappy with her or anything, just frustrated right now. Kids are weird.