letters

Dear Credit Card Establishment,

It is not entirely helpful to inform me that my last visit to your site was Monday, February 09, 2009 at 07:49am, when it is currently Monday, February 09, 2009 at 07:49am. Just so you know.

Dear JC Penny Rewards program,

If you cannot entice me to sign up for your free rewards program that gives $10 bonsues because I think it's a waste of time, then you may consider it Epic Fail.

Dear CVS,

I love you.

Dear Walgreens,

I love you, too.

Dear Rite-Aid,

I tolerate you most of the time because I like buying things for free, but secretly I hate you because could you seriously just take the damned coupon and scan them like a good little drone?

Dear Evelyn,

No, you may not put ham in your eye, and you may not wear it as a hat. Be nice to Daddy. Stop coughing in your sleep and rest well, you're worrying Mommy.

Dear M,

Thismuch.

Dear Internets,

Do something amusing, would ya?