Passive aggressive bitchiness
Apr. 17th, 2003 10:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
same_skyI'm such a wuss. I really need to learn to be more assertive. And just as a warning, this is going to be one of those posts where I take forever to get to the point.
I don't expect people to never make mistakes or anything. I'm a decently forgiving person. Better than some, worse than others. But when the same freaking "mistake" happens more than once, I'm sorry, but yes, I happen to take it personally.
Case in point. I plan my day around that freaking (and yes, what I really want to say is another F word entirely, but I'm being politically correct) party that I didn't want to go to. Yes, the one I was too wussy to get out of. I ate a frozen dinner early, I got out in the pouring rain, I prepared to not be here when M gets home, I got all cute before I left. Not in that order. Anyway. Dreading the evening ahead and whatever tacky thing I was going to feel obligated to buy, I'm on my way to the cousin's house. I stop at the store to drop off the rest of the price signs I made today and ask my mother if she's going. She steps outside and says, "You're going to the party? I thought the party was cancelled?" It went downhill from there. She called the cousin, confirmed that it was cancelled. I was greatly pissed off. Why couldn't she have TOLD me?
That's what really gets to me. Apparently, it's been cancelled for at least a full day, possibly two. She called me yesterday to ask about shoes! Why the heck didn't she mention it to me then?! She told my mother that she tried to call me but it was busy and then she forgot. That's funny, because the only time yesterday I was on the phone was when she freaking called me! And apparently, as if this is supposed to make me feel better, she also forgot to tell her friend, and she showed up from a different county, on sucky roads, in the pouring rain for the party that didn't happen. Wtf?!
And like I said, I could laugh it off easily if it was the first time something like this happened. I mean, I really really didn't want to go. (I was already planning leaving early. Don't you think it's an.. erm, "freaked up" (*laugh*) world when they accept the excuse that I need to rush home to watch television but not that I need to leave early to see my husband?) But it's not! It always happens to me! Her son's birthday party, for instance, I wasn't told about. Various events of that sort have been not mentioned to me. Locales have moved, times have changed, things have been cancelled. How bloody often am I supposed to laugh gracefully about the same damned things? Of course, when I happen to find out about them, I'm expected to attend, be merry and often spend money in one way or another. I shouldn't make this about the money, because she never says I have to buy something, and I'm making that part sound worse (for effect, just like I mentioned. I'm such a bitch. Unassertive bitch. Is that an oxymoron?) I'm just so annoyed, and knowing that I should just let it bounce off of me is difficult. I still love her, of course, and I didn't say anything mean when she called to apologize (although I didn't answer the first time as insurance against that very thing) and I will probably pretend that it never happened just like always, but argh. I just felt like being a big baby and complaining to someone. :)
Anyway, in conclusion, I'm done with it. I will not go to the rescheduled party. Will not. (I'm a Taurus, we're famously stubborn and I really mean it.) I don't care if there's french silk pie, male strippers and free booze, I'm not going. I went to this one out of consideration for my cousin. I will not attend any future events where she does not have the same respect for me.
Magnus says that this journal is perfect for me. I get to write angry letters to people. They won't read it, but someone will. *laugh* At least he appreciated my efforts at getting cute. :)
(I'm feeling better now. This was not actually the main point of my day, but I had to do something with all those words I swallowed on the phone. Might write more about the day in another entry. I'll endeavor to stop griping and complaining now, though.)
I don't expect people to never make mistakes or anything. I'm a decently forgiving person. Better than some, worse than others. But when the same freaking "mistake" happens more than once, I'm sorry, but yes, I happen to take it personally.
Case in point. I plan my day around that freaking (and yes, what I really want to say is another F word entirely, but I'm being politically correct) party that I didn't want to go to. Yes, the one I was too wussy to get out of. I ate a frozen dinner early, I got out in the pouring rain, I prepared to not be here when M gets home, I got all cute before I left. Not in that order. Anyway. Dreading the evening ahead and whatever tacky thing I was going to feel obligated to buy, I'm on my way to the cousin's house. I stop at the store to drop off the rest of the price signs I made today and ask my mother if she's going. She steps outside and says, "You're going to the party? I thought the party was cancelled?" It went downhill from there. She called the cousin, confirmed that it was cancelled. I was greatly pissed off. Why couldn't she have TOLD me?
That's what really gets to me. Apparently, it's been cancelled for at least a full day, possibly two. She called me yesterday to ask about shoes! Why the heck didn't she mention it to me then?! She told my mother that she tried to call me but it was busy and then she forgot. That's funny, because the only time yesterday I was on the phone was when she freaking called me! And apparently, as if this is supposed to make me feel better, she also forgot to tell her friend, and she showed up from a different county, on sucky roads, in the pouring rain for the party that didn't happen. Wtf?!
And like I said, I could laugh it off easily if it was the first time something like this happened. I mean, I really really didn't want to go. (I was already planning leaving early. Don't you think it's an.. erm, "freaked up" (*laugh*) world when they accept the excuse that I need to rush home to watch television but not that I need to leave early to see my husband?) But it's not! It always happens to me! Her son's birthday party, for instance, I wasn't told about. Various events of that sort have been not mentioned to me. Locales have moved, times have changed, things have been cancelled. How bloody often am I supposed to laugh gracefully about the same damned things? Of course, when I happen to find out about them, I'm expected to attend, be merry and often spend money in one way or another. I shouldn't make this about the money, because she never says I have to buy something, and I'm making that part sound worse (for effect, just like I mentioned. I'm such a bitch. Unassertive bitch. Is that an oxymoron?) I'm just so annoyed, and knowing that I should just let it bounce off of me is difficult. I still love her, of course, and I didn't say anything mean when she called to apologize (although I didn't answer the first time as insurance against that very thing) and I will probably pretend that it never happened just like always, but argh. I just felt like being a big baby and complaining to someone. :)
Anyway, in conclusion, I'm done with it. I will not go to the rescheduled party. Will not. (I'm a Taurus, we're famously stubborn and I really mean it.) I don't care if there's french silk pie, male strippers and free booze, I'm not going. I went to this one out of consideration for my cousin. I will not attend any future events where she does not have the same respect for me.
Magnus says that this journal is perfect for me. I get to write angry letters to people. They won't read it, but someone will. *laugh* At least he appreciated my efforts at getting cute. :)
(I'm feeling better now. This was not actually the main point of my day, but I had to do something with all those words I swallowed on the phone. Might write more about the day in another entry. I'll endeavor to stop griping and complaining now, though.)
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no subject
Date: 2003-04-19 02:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-22 07:25 am (UTC)