Ramblings about work.
Aug. 15th, 2003 11:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
same_skyI don't think I mentioned how my mother abused me at work last week. It was pretty funny, in retrospect, because there were three intelligent human beings involved in this accident (of course it was an accident, but I've been teasing her about it ever since) and two of them were mothers. Moms are usually a little less prone to this sort of foolishness, but not this time. I was standing at the edge of a dolly in the back room and my mom was on the other side of it. My aunt, sitting on the couch, says, "Take her for a ride!" Mistake number one. Then I step more fully onto it and hang on. Mistake number two. And then my mother proceeds to lift me in preparation for this joyous ride. Major mistake number three. It went way too far down, and I started trying to get off without hitting the floor. Mom says, "I've got you! I've got you!" because she thinks I think I'm about to be dropped. I, however, have had all my weight transferred onto four spots on my legs where the bars go across the back and am eager to get up. They were properly sorry for getting me hurt, but I think we all felt a little dumb because we should have known better. If we'd seen one of the kids doing that, we would have yelled at them until they stopped. I ended up with a really ugly knot and dark bruise on my right leg, but I think I'll probably be alright. :)
Let's see.. what else should I write about? (Oh, yes, I'm at work again and bored.) It seems that Carolyn will not be working regularly again after all. Frankly, I didn't think she wanted to come back at all. I also thought she handled the whole situation badly. She would come in very occasionally and say that she hadn't been released to come back to work, but would have a doctor's appointment on a certain day. That day would come and go without a word from her. I personally think it was pretty inconsiderate of her to keep the parents waiting on her to return. And hey, let's talk about me. I was only working one day a week when Carolyn was still here. But.. well, I feel bad about complaining since like I've mentioned before, I do enjoy contributing to the household economy. There have been a few weeks that I've actually brought home more than M (which is unfair, since he pays for insurance and other such things.)
I was thinking about that this morning, actually. I realized that I am an extremely happy person right now in general. The only thing currently actively bothering me is my job. Oh, I'd like to have a house and a new car and all that, but material stuff isn't really all that important to me, so it's really no big deal. I'm just not happy working in the retail produce business. Magnus reminds me that I was unhappy when I was unemployed as well, although it was a different type of unhappiness. I'm well aware that not everyone has a job they love and maybe everyone thinks I should stop whining about it and live with it. (I really don't CARE if anyone thinks that, as I fully intend to worry the subject to death for at least one more paragraph, probably more. So there.)
The trouble is that I'm not entirely sure what to do about it. I don't want to just quit. I can't just quit for no reason.. it's just not my style. I've gotten used to the money and my parents need me. I already feel like crap about taking a day off per week, since there are currently no other employees and I don't work weekends to begin with, but 50 hours was too much for me if I didn't just have to. We got along fine when I wasn't working at all, so I just couldn't see working myself to death if it wasn't for the money. I had thought about going to three days a week every so often if Carolyn was willing to work, but she really doesn't do things to suit me anyway, so the day after is more work than if I had done it right to begin with. Course, that was just one day, so she might get more used to things later on.
I do hope she doesn't read this, though I can't imagine that she would. It's just that we made a lot of changes, but she still did things like she did before on Wednesday. There is something to be said in favor of my job, though. Notice what I said? She doesn't do things to suit ME? I shouldn't underestimate the value of that. I run the store, for the most part. I don't have to deal with stuck-in-their-ways uncooperative bosses. My bosses happen to think I'm grand, so suggestions are taken seriously and usually happen. I see more of my family working here. I do have a little bit of time to myself, obviously, as I'm writing this. I am physically able to do the job (although it does take a lot out of me, both physically and emotionally.) And by golly, today I was walking toward the cooler and saw my outline in the reflection and I have a waist again. I haven't lost a lot of weight in numbers, but even I am beginning to notice the reproportioning. It seems that lugging around fifty pounds of potatoes and cabbage is actually good for something after all! (I actually try to avoid lifting anything heavier than a watermelon, but it doesn't always work, of course.) So it's not like it's all bad, and I should remember that. Things could be much worse.
I'm really just going in circles here. I just saw in my future a career instead of a job. I know that I'm not blameless for not having that career, but I also have learned to accept that my location and the current economy are huge factors. Unemployment is sky-high, so I should just be glad that Magnus and I both have a job. But.. I dread getting up in the morning and feel like I'm smothering in fruit all the time. I leave the house at eight and don't get home until somewhere from six to six thirty at night, then cook dinner and have two or three hours to do something fun. Except I'm too damned tired to do anything fun, so we sit and stare blindly at the television, and we're not television people normally. I felt like a worthless person who didn't contribute to society when I was unemployed.. but at least we ate dinner earlier. And had more sex.
Let's see.. what else should I write about? (Oh, yes, I'm at work again and bored.) It seems that Carolyn will not be working regularly again after all. Frankly, I didn't think she wanted to come back at all. I also thought she handled the whole situation badly. She would come in very occasionally and say that she hadn't been released to come back to work, but would have a doctor's appointment on a certain day. That day would come and go without a word from her. I personally think it was pretty inconsiderate of her to keep the parents waiting on her to return. And hey, let's talk about me. I was only working one day a week when Carolyn was still here. But.. well, I feel bad about complaining since like I've mentioned before, I do enjoy contributing to the household economy. There have been a few weeks that I've actually brought home more than M (which is unfair, since he pays for insurance and other such things.)
I was thinking about that this morning, actually. I realized that I am an extremely happy person right now in general. The only thing currently actively bothering me is my job. Oh, I'd like to have a house and a new car and all that, but material stuff isn't really all that important to me, so it's really no big deal. I'm just not happy working in the retail produce business. Magnus reminds me that I was unhappy when I was unemployed as well, although it was a different type of unhappiness. I'm well aware that not everyone has a job they love and maybe everyone thinks I should stop whining about it and live with it. (I really don't CARE if anyone thinks that, as I fully intend to worry the subject to death for at least one more paragraph, probably more. So there.)
The trouble is that I'm not entirely sure what to do about it. I don't want to just quit. I can't just quit for no reason.. it's just not my style. I've gotten used to the money and my parents need me. I already feel like crap about taking a day off per week, since there are currently no other employees and I don't work weekends to begin with, but 50 hours was too much for me if I didn't just have to. We got along fine when I wasn't working at all, so I just couldn't see working myself to death if it wasn't for the money. I had thought about going to three days a week every so often if Carolyn was willing to work, but she really doesn't do things to suit me anyway, so the day after is more work than if I had done it right to begin with. Course, that was just one day, so she might get more used to things later on.
I do hope she doesn't read this, though I can't imagine that she would. It's just that we made a lot of changes, but she still did things like she did before on Wednesday. There is something to be said in favor of my job, though. Notice what I said? She doesn't do things to suit ME? I shouldn't underestimate the value of that. I run the store, for the most part. I don't have to deal with stuck-in-their-ways uncooperative bosses. My bosses happen to think I'm grand, so suggestions are taken seriously and usually happen. I see more of my family working here. I do have a little bit of time to myself, obviously, as I'm writing this. I am physically able to do the job (although it does take a lot out of me, both physically and emotionally.) And by golly, today I was walking toward the cooler and saw my outline in the reflection and I have a waist again. I haven't lost a lot of weight in numbers, but even I am beginning to notice the reproportioning. It seems that lugging around fifty pounds of potatoes and cabbage is actually good for something after all! (I actually try to avoid lifting anything heavier than a watermelon, but it doesn't always work, of course.) So it's not like it's all bad, and I should remember that. Things could be much worse.
I'm really just going in circles here. I just saw in my future a career instead of a job. I know that I'm not blameless for not having that career, but I also have learned to accept that my location and the current economy are huge factors. Unemployment is sky-high, so I should just be glad that Magnus and I both have a job. But.. I dread getting up in the morning and feel like I'm smothering in fruit all the time. I leave the house at eight and don't get home until somewhere from six to six thirty at night, then cook dinner and have two or three hours to do something fun. Except I'm too damned tired to do anything fun, so we sit and stare blindly at the television, and we're not television people normally. I felt like a worthless person who didn't contribute to society when I was unemployed.. but at least we ate dinner earlier. And had more sex.
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no subject
Date: 2003-08-15 02:11 pm (UTC)I wish someone would give me a ride on a dolly. When I was moving out of my apartment in Astoria we rented one and Mike refused to push me around on it. What a spoil sport! He and my mom said it was dangerous.
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Date: 2003-08-17 10:06 am (UTC)