Eyes and Gymnastics.
Apr. 14th, 2011 11:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
same_skyIt makes me angry at myself that I have stopped posting as much as I used to.I think I have posted eleven times so far this year. You guys might not care. Maybe you are all, "sheesh! she finally shut up!" but I like to be able to look back and see what I was thinking about and doing. And there's no reason for it! I want to! I think about it! And sure, there's always something else to do but it's not like I don't put in my fair share of time blog-hopping and staring idly at the screen in the evenings.
There was some interest in this, so here's a follow-up. My grandfather had the eye surgery! If you recall, he had his right eye put out (mostly) by a piece of wood when I was a baby. My mom took him to an eye specialist recently because of the cataracts in his 'good' eye. The doctor looked at his bad eye and said, "hey, by the way, you actually have vision in this eye. You just need a new lens!" So they scheduled the surgery to fix the cataracts and scheduled a second surgery for the bad eye for three weeks later. So, imagine! Being able to see with both eyes again after thirty years! (It's okay if I round down, right?)As I mentioned before, as exciting as the concept was to me and everyone else, it would not be out of character for my grandfather to refuse the second surgery, saying something along the lines of, 'eh, I'm not gonna fool with that.' So, we were all assuming that he'd have the cataract one done, and then find something about it that made him not want to have the second one, but then... he didn't! He did it! And guess what? IT WORKED. It takes about three weeks for the full effect to be known, but just a day or two for the majority of the effect. His bad eye is now seeing better than his old good eye. They're thinking it will be about 20/50 instead of 20/20 but, speaking as someone with abysmal vision, much worse than 20/50? I'd take what I have compared to almost nothing at all for thirty years. (He could see blurred shadow outlines of things.) He still has some trouble when he looks down because, according to the doctor, there's dried blood there from the surgery which should go away in a couple weeks. After the vision is settled, he will need a regular old eye exam to get a prescription for glasses that actually work for him.I just cannot even imagine how great that would be. Of course, being him, he's not tremendously vocal about how fantastic it is, but apparently he's doing a lot of pointing out what things say while using his new eye, things he wouldn't have been able to see. He says you don't get too excited about much when you're his age. ;)
Now, something else that I have had on my list to talk about. Evelyn looooves gymnastics, and she is really improving at it, but... well, let's just say that she has a long way to go. And that's okay! I am not dissing my child's athletic skills. I mean, she's three. This is for fun. What I love about it is that she has the drama part down. She stumbles across the balance beam--and may God help you if you slip and call it a balance bar because she will correct you with the force of ten ninjas--with her arms outstreched and her head held so high that I'm surprised she doesn't get nosebleeds, and no matter how many times she totters, when she gets to the end, she dramatically brings her feet together and does a neat little bunny hop off the beam, arms held tightly in place. It's like she instinctively knows that if she keeps the form perfectly (or, as perfectly as a preschooler can keep anything) then people will notice her mistakes a little less. It's adorable.
On the other hand, there are two little boys who have been in her class off and on, and so it is with some exposure to these two kids that I see the difference between boys and girls... at least in regard to gymnastics. These kids are flipping all over the place. I know that's the reason one of them (K. or C? It's a made-up name so who knows? I'm thinking K.) is in the class--his older siblings taught him how to do it and his mom thought perhaps some formal training might be in order. He'll sort of casually throw himself into a one-armed back flip. Cartwheels are uninteresting to him--too easy. Actually, the whole class seems uninteresting to him except for the flipping parts. The other little boy, A, has a TON of energy. I told his mom one day that he was a lot of fun to watch but I bet she was tired at the end of the day. He is just here and there and up and down and over there. He's not as flippy as the other kid but he's still pretty hot in comparison to the other kids... which are all girls. He just oozes confidence with his every movement. He doesn't worry about falling on his butt because if he does, he'll pick himself up and try again, and that very confidence, of course, and willingness to throw himself in any direction is also what lets him actually accomplish most of the stuff he can do. I mean, you can't do a slow, careful flip. If you try, you get hurt. Or you kick your mother in the head and don't bother asking how I know THAT. It seems to me that these two boy children are oozing with confidence, and the girls in the class? They are not.
So, yeah. I've been sitting there during classes, thinking about this--and tatting! for the first time in years! So fun!--and how unsettled I feel seeing her lack of confidence in herself because I have done this to her. Do you have any idea how many times I have told that child to be careful? Or that I have moved things out of her way or generally sanitized her very existence in order to protect her from the theoretical chance that something outlandish, or at least unlikely, might occur? And.... I don't regret that. I'm a protective mom. I get that. I'm okay with it. If you had lived in my shoes I think you would be too. It's not like I think that if I didn't stand over her, trying to keep her safe, that she would be an instant gymnastics success. I can't help but think, however, that her unwillingness to step forward and trust that the beam beneath her feet will be just where she thinks it is... has something to do with the confidence issue. And how can she be confident in herself if I am always there to keep her from fighting her own battles? Or maybe it's more of a subconscious knowledge of society's views on how girls behave. Self-esteem is something that many many girls have issues with. I know I am overanalyzing this. i mean, the other girls are similar to her and the boys are probably in gymnastics in the first place because they ARE that way. But... it doesn't stop me from feeling uneasy about it when I see her afraid to get hurt in a situation where she has qualified teachers there to catch her if she does fall.
I feel like a dork now. I'm sure it's just me worrying about something that does not need worrying about... big shocker there, right? I would delete this whole thing but I have spent too long typing it out.
There was some interest in this, so here's a follow-up. My grandfather had the eye surgery! If you recall, he had his right eye put out (mostly) by a piece of wood when I was a baby. My mom took him to an eye specialist recently because of the cataracts in his 'good' eye. The doctor looked at his bad eye and said, "hey, by the way, you actually have vision in this eye. You just need a new lens!" So they scheduled the surgery to fix the cataracts and scheduled a second surgery for the bad eye for three weeks later. So, imagine! Being able to see with both eyes again after thirty years! (It's okay if I round down, right?)As I mentioned before, as exciting as the concept was to me and everyone else, it would not be out of character for my grandfather to refuse the second surgery, saying something along the lines of, 'eh, I'm not gonna fool with that.' So, we were all assuming that he'd have the cataract one done, and then find something about it that made him not want to have the second one, but then... he didn't! He did it! And guess what? IT WORKED. It takes about three weeks for the full effect to be known, but just a day or two for the majority of the effect. His bad eye is now seeing better than his old good eye. They're thinking it will be about 20/50 instead of 20/20 but, speaking as someone with abysmal vision, much worse than 20/50? I'd take what I have compared to almost nothing at all for thirty years. (He could see blurred shadow outlines of things.) He still has some trouble when he looks down because, according to the doctor, there's dried blood there from the surgery which should go away in a couple weeks. After the vision is settled, he will need a regular old eye exam to get a prescription for glasses that actually work for him.I just cannot even imagine how great that would be. Of course, being him, he's not tremendously vocal about how fantastic it is, but apparently he's doing a lot of pointing out what things say while using his new eye, things he wouldn't have been able to see. He says you don't get too excited about much when you're his age. ;)
Now, something else that I have had on my list to talk about. Evelyn looooves gymnastics, and she is really improving at it, but... well, let's just say that she has a long way to go. And that's okay! I am not dissing my child's athletic skills. I mean, she's three. This is for fun. What I love about it is that she has the drama part down. She stumbles across the balance beam--and may God help you if you slip and call it a balance bar because she will correct you with the force of ten ninjas--with her arms outstreched and her head held so high that I'm surprised she doesn't get nosebleeds, and no matter how many times she totters, when she gets to the end, she dramatically brings her feet together and does a neat little bunny hop off the beam, arms held tightly in place. It's like she instinctively knows that if she keeps the form perfectly (or, as perfectly as a preschooler can keep anything) then people will notice her mistakes a little less. It's adorable.
On the other hand, there are two little boys who have been in her class off and on, and so it is with some exposure to these two kids that I see the difference between boys and girls... at least in regard to gymnastics. These kids are flipping all over the place. I know that's the reason one of them (K. or C? It's a made-up name so who knows? I'm thinking K.) is in the class--his older siblings taught him how to do it and his mom thought perhaps some formal training might be in order. He'll sort of casually throw himself into a one-armed back flip. Cartwheels are uninteresting to him--too easy. Actually, the whole class seems uninteresting to him except for the flipping parts. The other little boy, A, has a TON of energy. I told his mom one day that he was a lot of fun to watch but I bet she was tired at the end of the day. He is just here and there and up and down and over there. He's not as flippy as the other kid but he's still pretty hot in comparison to the other kids... which are all girls. He just oozes confidence with his every movement. He doesn't worry about falling on his butt because if he does, he'll pick himself up and try again, and that very confidence, of course, and willingness to throw himself in any direction is also what lets him actually accomplish most of the stuff he can do. I mean, you can't do a slow, careful flip. If you try, you get hurt. Or you kick your mother in the head and don't bother asking how I know THAT. It seems to me that these two boy children are oozing with confidence, and the girls in the class? They are not.
So, yeah. I've been sitting there during classes, thinking about this--and tatting! for the first time in years! So fun!--and how unsettled I feel seeing her lack of confidence in herself because I have done this to her. Do you have any idea how many times I have told that child to be careful? Or that I have moved things out of her way or generally sanitized her very existence in order to protect her from the theoretical chance that something outlandish, or at least unlikely, might occur? And.... I don't regret that. I'm a protective mom. I get that. I'm okay with it. If you had lived in my shoes I think you would be too. It's not like I think that if I didn't stand over her, trying to keep her safe, that she would be an instant gymnastics success. I can't help but think, however, that her unwillingness to step forward and trust that the beam beneath her feet will be just where she thinks it is... has something to do with the confidence issue. And how can she be confident in herself if I am always there to keep her from fighting her own battles? Or maybe it's more of a subconscious knowledge of society's views on how girls behave. Self-esteem is something that many many girls have issues with. I know I am overanalyzing this. i mean, the other girls are similar to her and the boys are probably in gymnastics in the first place because they ARE that way. But... it doesn't stop me from feeling uneasy about it when I see her afraid to get hurt in a situation where she has qualified teachers there to catch her if she does fall.
I feel like a dork now. I'm sure it's just me worrying about something that does not need worrying about... big shocker there, right? I would delete this whole thing but I have spent too long typing it out.
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no subject
Date: 2011-04-16 01:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-19 03:43 pm (UTC)I remember being 5 yo and wanting to run away after what I'm sure now, was an unreasonable tantrum over something. Even then, I realized that it would be very difficult to run away. How would I eat? Where would I sleep? Where would I go? So yeah, I had a little curbside chat with my Dad and he convinced me that coming home was the better option and we'd work it out. ^^
I'm glad Evie is getting over it. Sophie's still a lot on edge about it. I hope we can work through it soon too.