Jun. 1st, 2002

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Fell asleep on the couch last night again. I spent the entire day feeling vaguely depressed and apathetic. Decided that the reasons were a combination of being jetlagged and hormonal and boredom. Realized today when I woke up that we had actually missed the biggest factor.. I didn't quite escape getting sick. :(

We've often talked about it... whenever we travel back and forth, we always get sick. We haven't built up resistance to the other country's bacteria and such, so. We were hoping that we would miss it this time (as you might imagine, on previous occasions, the sickness was quite soon into the visit.. kissing, for instance, might have played a factor in that!) So we were thinking that perhaps we just wouldn't come into contact with the germies as easily. Apparently, this failed. M was sniffling a little this morning.. we'll see how that turns out. As for me, I'm exhausted and sore throat and achy.

Anyway. I didn't do much of anything yesterday afternoon, for the reasons I've already mentioned. I've been reading The Cider House Rules, and I finished it today. It was extremely good. The movie was wonderful, as well.. that's why I read the book. I was really impressed how they managed to alter the movie to keep the book's integrity intact, while at the same time changing it substantially, and leaving out some significant aspects and characters and about fifteen years.

There's this girl on our mud called Roxie. She's a power, and someone we used to talk to quite frequently at night. She left for a six-week vacation in the Bahamas at the beginning of Feb.. and she hasn't returned. It's disturbing, and no one has any idea of what happened to her. Last logon: Feb 2. That was four months ago! Also, she was insistent about her privacy and stuff so we don't have much of a way of contacting her irl, like we do for all the other powers.

I miss my baby. :( He'll be home earlier tonight, which is good because maybe I'll be able to stay awake tonight long enough to spend some time with him. I guess what I should do is try to take a nap this afternoon and see if that helps me stay up until at least midnight, then I might be able to sleep at least until 8.

Hmm.. I'm beginning to wonder if I have a fever. We don't have a thermometer. Not sure I feel quite bad enough for a fever, though, except for feeling strangely warm and strangely cool.

There was one thing that I really liked about this visit as opposed to when I was there last time. The America bitching had stopped. Not that it was always a direct onslaught of negative comments, but sometimes it was a little over the bounds of good taste. I freely admit that the US--like every other country in the world--has some problems, but it's really not directly my fault, which is how it would often come across. And what I liked was that I didn't have the impression that it was just about Sept 11 and people being more sensitive because of that. We both strongly got the feeling that it was people being more accepting of me, the person, as opposed to me, the American. Example. First visit.. I'd been in Sweden for a very short time when we went to dinner with a friend. "So," he said, "now that you've been *here*, you can see exactly why we're always bashing the US, right?" (or something similar, implying that once I'd glimpsed the utopia that is Sweden I would agree that America is a corrupted wasteland.). I didn't know quite what to say.. I know that he didn't mean it maliciously or even to annoy me, but I was just completely at a loss for what to say. Now, to contrast. Two years later, same friend. Went to dinner, and we ended up having (among a billion other topics) a very nice discussion about government and politics in both countries and in others, and there was equal criticism and approval of both sides, without being confrontational, self-righteous, or anything else negative.

Anyway, it was good to feel that some people at least were past seeing me just as an outsider to whom Sweden must be always portrayed as perfect, when clearly it is not, in the same way the America is clearly not perfect. Actually, I'm fond of the idea that if you mixed the two countries (Sverica? Ameriden? Swemerica? Ameriverige?) you'd have a pretty dang good place to live.

Clearly, I need to stop writing in my journal now and return to my plans for creating this utopia. Stay tuned for details..

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