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I'm horrible. I was sitting here thinking that I have got to stop putting things off. Now, granted, that's a little unfair right at this moment because I've gotten quite a lot of stuff done today, but I'm still putting off something I shouldn't put off (nothing dreadful, just something I'd rather not be doing today.) So I'm sitting here trying to decide what to do next, and realizing again that I do indeed have a procrastination problem. It immediately occured to me that I could add that as a New Year's resolution. And what's wrong with that? Why, it means that I can put off crap for two more days, of course! I'm utterly hopeless sometimes.
I got really excited a few months ago when I realized that Homefront was being aired on the GoodLife TV channel. If I wasn't so lazy, I'd link to that entry but I don't remember exactly when it was. Anyway, I actually switched cable packages just so I could watch this show, and I've been watching it, but it was the last part of the second season. I didn't remember much of anything other than that I loved it. Last week, I realized that they were starting from the beginning as of this week, so I saw the first episode tonight. It was so good!
It kinda left me feeling rather inexplicably sad, though. I don't suppose it's related to the show, but I've had that half-sick feeling in my stomach.. the one you get when you've done something wrong or made a complete idiot of yourself, since just before it went off. Previously, every time I've gotten that feeling, I've known exactly what caused it. Usually, it has to do with my inability to keep my damned mouth shut, but I haven't said anything inappropriate today! I've barely even talked to anyone other than M. Normally, he can fix my moodiness, but normally, I can tell him what's wrong. It's a little harder when you have no clue why you're worrying, but I definitely seem to be worrying about something. I don't really understand how something can be wrong without me even knowing it, but there you have it. Why I feel the need to analyze every single thing in my life to death is something else I could angst over. I think I'll refrain for now until I'm done fretting over whatever it is that I'm fretting over.
The problem is that, being unsure of what's wrong and knowing I can't get rid of it until it hits me, I've been sitting here trying to figure it out. It's just like having a loose tooth. You just can't leave it alone. You know that if you poke at it, it's going to hurt, and if you poke too hard, it's going to come loose, and you're just not in the mood for having overgrown fairies in your room tonight, but you can't stop yourself from giving it one more tug. So I've been sitting here thinking of the key issues that usually upset me, prodding at each one individually to see if that's the one that's acting up. It doesn't really seem to be any of them in particular, or at least the ball of nerves in my tummy isn't linked to them too strongly. You know what else I'm worrying about? I'm actually worrying that I'm worrying over something stupid. I've really made great strides in my worrying addiction (you can take this to mean that I no longer lie awake in a cold sweat worrying about M being in a car wreck on the way to work--too often) in the last three years. I guess it's hard to get rid of some things completely.
I got really excited a few months ago when I realized that Homefront was being aired on the GoodLife TV channel. If I wasn't so lazy, I'd link to that entry but I don't remember exactly when it was. Anyway, I actually switched cable packages just so I could watch this show, and I've been watching it, but it was the last part of the second season. I didn't remember much of anything other than that I loved it. Last week, I realized that they were starting from the beginning as of this week, so I saw the first episode tonight. It was so good!
It kinda left me feeling rather inexplicably sad, though. I don't suppose it's related to the show, but I've had that half-sick feeling in my stomach.. the one you get when you've done something wrong or made a complete idiot of yourself, since just before it went off. Previously, every time I've gotten that feeling, I've known exactly what caused it. Usually, it has to do with my inability to keep my damned mouth shut, but I haven't said anything inappropriate today! I've barely even talked to anyone other than M. Normally, he can fix my moodiness, but normally, I can tell him what's wrong. It's a little harder when you have no clue why you're worrying, but I definitely seem to be worrying about something. I don't really understand how something can be wrong without me even knowing it, but there you have it. Why I feel the need to analyze every single thing in my life to death is something else I could angst over. I think I'll refrain for now until I'm done fretting over whatever it is that I'm fretting over.
The problem is that, being unsure of what's wrong and knowing I can't get rid of it until it hits me, I've been sitting here trying to figure it out. It's just like having a loose tooth. You just can't leave it alone. You know that if you poke at it, it's going to hurt, and if you poke too hard, it's going to come loose, and you're just not in the mood for having overgrown fairies in your room tonight, but you can't stop yourself from giving it one more tug. So I've been sitting here thinking of the key issues that usually upset me, prodding at each one individually to see if that's the one that's acting up. It doesn't really seem to be any of them in particular, or at least the ball of nerves in my tummy isn't linked to them too strongly. You know what else I'm worrying about? I'm actually worrying that I'm worrying over something stupid. I've really made great strides in my worrying addiction (you can take this to mean that I no longer lie awake in a cold sweat worrying about M being in a car wreck on the way to work--too often) in the last three years. I guess it's hard to get rid of some things completely.
