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I've been completely self-indulgent tonight. I had great plans of working on things of productivity, but I gave that up before I even got started. We began the evening with a trip to a craft store. I had a fairly light potato-based dinner--I'm completely obsessed with this frozen potato thing that M bought for me to try last week, followed by french silk pie, purchased especially for me today by the husband who spoils me rotten. Then I had a really long bubble bath with an excellent book. (Die In Plain Sight by Elizabeth Lowell) and followed that up with.. well, more pie, and reading on the couch in comfortable companionship with my sweetie. Could there possibly be a nicer evening? I think not.
I think it was an excellent evening to pamper myself, for I fear I'm losing my grip on my sanity. I'm currently doing real work during the days now, rather than listening to tapes all day long. Granted, the work is not urgent and not something that someone else couldn't do in the tiniest fraction of the time I'm throwing at it, but still. It's work, and I haven't the faintest idea how I'm ever going to turn this lump of stuff into a working program, but there's some progress all along so it's not totally hopeless or anything. I am, however, getting a little slap-happy when staring at it for hours on end. For example, I was surprised earlier to notice that there was a wormhole in the fabric of reality emanating from the flickering "prdirdep-file" words on my screen. I fully envisioned an alien invasion that would make Carrie quite proud, and worked out the logistics of having aliens protruding from your computer screen, and how embarrassing that would be if someone walked by and saw it. I pulled my mind away from that fascinating line of thought and returned it to sifting through my meager knowledge of Cobol, but then I came back to think about the monitor and how I bet someone somewhere probably has used a permanent marker to make notes of where something is located, like a file, or text in a Word document. Then I thought about how hopelessly weirdly cute (and yes, dumb as a box of rocks) it would have been if I had made a little dot just beside the words when M told me he loved me for the first time. Then I would always see it just the way it was, and wouldn't that be a nice reminder.. well, when it wasn't getting in my way. (Never mind the fact that I have a different monitor now than then..) I realized that was stupid and worthless, and also, I just can't picture someone being that stupid, or thinking in any way that it would be a good idea, or also, imagining picking up a marker and using it on my monitor. It just doesn't seem like something even theoretically possible. So I shake my head and return to the green-on-black screen and try to make sense of what I should be doing. Later, I see my framed tatted doily sitting on the desk, and it occurs to me that a tatted playstation controller cozy would be the absolute funniest thing ever, and I pondered the design process for a second before I realized that a) I would never ever even dream of doing such a thing, funny or no and b) we don't even have a frickin' playstation.
It's been a longday week. But the biggest part of it is over now, which makes me happy. What doesn't make me happy is that my nice little lazy evening has to be over right now. Bedtime sucks. :)
I think it was an excellent evening to pamper myself, for I fear I'm losing my grip on my sanity. I'm currently doing real work during the days now, rather than listening to tapes all day long. Granted, the work is not urgent and not something that someone else couldn't do in the tiniest fraction of the time I'm throwing at it, but still. It's work, and I haven't the faintest idea how I'm ever going to turn this lump of stuff into a working program, but there's some progress all along so it's not totally hopeless or anything. I am, however, getting a little slap-happy when staring at it for hours on end. For example, I was surprised earlier to notice that there was a wormhole in the fabric of reality emanating from the flickering "prdirdep-file" words on my screen. I fully envisioned an alien invasion that would make Carrie quite proud, and worked out the logistics of having aliens protruding from your computer screen, and how embarrassing that would be if someone walked by and saw it. I pulled my mind away from that fascinating line of thought and returned it to sifting through my meager knowledge of Cobol, but then I came back to think about the monitor and how I bet someone somewhere probably has used a permanent marker to make notes of where something is located, like a file, or text in a Word document. Then I thought about how hopelessly weirdly cute (and yes, dumb as a box of rocks) it would have been if I had made a little dot just beside the words when M told me he loved me for the first time. Then I would always see it just the way it was, and wouldn't that be a nice reminder.. well, when it wasn't getting in my way. (Never mind the fact that I have a different monitor now than then..) I realized that was stupid and worthless, and also, I just can't picture someone being that stupid, or thinking in any way that it would be a good idea, or also, imagining picking up a marker and using it on my monitor. It just doesn't seem like something even theoretically possible. So I shake my head and return to the green-on-black screen and try to make sense of what I should be doing. Later, I see my framed tatted doily sitting on the desk, and it occurs to me that a tatted playstation controller cozy would be the absolute funniest thing ever, and I pondered the design process for a second before I realized that a) I would never ever even dream of doing such a thing, funny or no and b) we don't even have a frickin' playstation.
It's been a long
