On Names

M and I are at an impasse on the whole name thing. We each have a favorite, and we are vying for which one it should be. For the purpose of this entry, let's pretend that my favorite name is Bertha, and his name is Lou*. (Not even freaking close.) He has begun suggesting Lou Bertha. I, on the other hand, maintain that whereas Bertha Lou actually sounds good together**, Lou Bertha just sounds weird, and not good. He doesn't think that it matters how the first name and middle name sound together. Maybe that's a man thing? Because I think it matters a good deal. We have a preference for using the first name as the name that she will go by because using the middle name gets complicated, and therefore, both of us want our name to be first so it will get used.

I told him the other day that if--IF--we went with Lou, we would have to come up with another middle name than Bertha because I didn't want to use my favorite name at all if it would just sound weird as a middle name. He decided to strike a deal with me--if he gets to choose the first name for Ducky, I can have whatever middle name I want without a fuss, AND if Ducky turns out to be a surprise boy, I can choose BOTH of the names without argument. This is kind of a a good deal because I do have a boy's name that I really like and that he won't agree about. (Of course, in that hypothetical situation, I would feel bad about giving a child a name his father didn't like anyway. Not sure HOW guilty, but a little bit anyway. And don't think M hasn't realized that!) I'm not sure I want to go for it but it's nice as a backup plan.

We do like each other's favorite name, which helps. I'm wavering, but I'm not sure I want to give in. First of all, I am pleased with the name that unexpectedly jumped out at me because it is the classiest name I have ever liked, and it has a nice personal meaning to me. I can't say much more than that without potentially giving it away. (This not telling thing is HARD.) My biggest concern (other than "Do I like it enough?" because right now, I don't know if I will ever like anything enough, but I trust that it will grow on me once I've reconciled it as the name I've given my baby) is that it's a semi-old-fashioned name for a tiny little girl.. not necessarily in a bad way, though. I also think (not positive, but pretty sure) that my choice will have family approval... which isn't terribly important but nice.

M's name, on the other hand, is the one name, boy or girl, that he has said that he really liked since we met. I like it.. I'm just not positive I like it enough, AND I know someone who has named their daughter this. I hate to "steal" a friend's name. Some people get upset about that sort of thing. M says that you can't really take that into account because duplicate names happen sometimes. Are people this accepting or is he wrong? On the positive side... it's a name that I have associated with potential offspring for our entire married life, it's pretty and feminine, and I think most people will think it sounds nice. And I do like it, or it would be off the list.

I guess what it comes down to is that I have a little less long-standing attachment to Bertha than he has to Lou, but I'm not sure Lou is perfect for the ducky girl. And besides that, he has shot down a zillion of my suggested names and I've gracefully (mostly) let go of them, but he gets to keep his favorite! That's not fair! ;) We're in negotiations still, but this naming a kid thing? It's really not that easy. How the heck are we supposed to decide who wins?

Anyone have any good suggestions? Just in case neither of us give in and we have to let both Bertha and Lou go? ;)

*Lou: after me! That's a joke that you may not get because Lou is not my most common nickname or anything. My cousin Rae (aka Heidi) always calls me Lou, though, mainly because I call her Rae. It makes no sense, never has. Don't try to understand it.

**Well, as good as this example can sound. Apologies to anyone who is named Bertha Lou.