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Germy-wormy
Sep. 28th, 2005 06:58 pmM laughs at me sometimes and calls me obsessive-compulsive, which is probably offensive to people who actually are obsessive-compulsive. He has always found it fascinating how often I wash my hands, or rather, when I wash my hands. "There's a name for people like you," he said on one particularly memorable occasion. (Note to Singles Out There: This is what Being Married is like. You can't even wash your hands in peace.*) When I come into the house, my hands feel nasty dirty and they have to be washed before I can do anything else. It doesn't matter what I'm going to do.. if I was going to repot all my plants plant, I would wash my hands first. I don't know why. Interestingly, I don't feel that way if I get in the car and drive somewhere else, usually, so it's not just about touching the steering wheel, although I do suffer a few pangs over that sometimes. (He also criticizes the fact that I use cold water to wash my hands. I used to defend it that I didn't like waiting for the water to heat up or the chance of scalding myself was worse than cold hands in winter, but it has occured to me recently that I LIKE washing my hands in cold water, except perhaps when I'm cooking, now that I think about it.)
There was a point to this, I promise. I was just thinking about germs, and I thought I should tell you that I am oddly germaphobic. I don't really obsess about germs lurking in a pile of dirty dishes (I hate them for other reasons but not enough to do them myself, apparently) or even under the toilet seat at home. No, I worry about the invisibles that you touch all day long in weird places, like public restrooms (not a weird one, I know) and keyboards and desks. So, what I was wondering is.. what kind of oddities do you people have about germs? Is there anything that you are totally resistant to touching for fear of germs? Will you throw food away if it falls on the table (I always do in public, sometimes at home too.) Do you freak out at people who eat their breakfast sandwiches directly on the kitchen table? (That totally freaks me out, enough so that M actually has stopped even when I'm not around. Except at his parents' house, which I found humorous since he hadn't even noticed that he had done it. You can't teach an old dog new tricks entirely, I guess.) Do you let your silverware touch the table? Do you regularly clean something to ward off germs? Or are you the opposite--do you really not care if your butt touches a public restroom toilet seat? (I cringe just thinking about it.) Do you use those air dryers with wild abandon? Do you lay a strirring spoon on top of a box that food came in while you cook? Tell me!
And since I am inviting you to talk about your neurotic tendencies or lack thereof, I'll start with my own two favorite germ issues.
I will not put a lemon in my tea in a restaraunt and I've been known to ask for my tea without a lemon, even though I don't dislike it. Here's the thing. No one washes lemons. Take this from the produce girl, alright? It was while I still worked at the store that I developed this phobia. Refrigerator space was always at a premium, so, to save space, I started putting our extra lemons in the crisper. On one particular day, the box turned over while I was kneeling there in the floor. I didn't even think about it, just grabbed them all from the floor and put them on in the crisper. From there, they were taken out front and sold, and.. well, have you ever washed a lemon? And that doesn't even count what happened when they were picked (hey, did the handlers stop to take a potty break without washing their hands?) So. Yes, wash your fruits and vegetables, but I just don't trust that all people think of lemons as something that need washed.
In a public bathroom, I unroll enough toilet paper to cover at least one round and set it aside before unrolling some for personal use. This is also a recent one. Do you ever touch the top of the roll for leverage while you tear off a piece, to keep it from unrolling? Because I have done that, particularly if the roll is touchy, and it occured to me that others probably do too, and the piece on there when you walk in? That was the last piece they touched when they were finished wiping. Yuck.
It has occured to me that this is the last thing in the world I should be asking. M will whop me when he gets home for attempting to expand my germ phobias.
*Obviously I'm kidding. I like being married more than anyone I've ever met. Because I don't like cheesecake, and M doesn't care much for American desserts at all so we're perfectly suited, and that's a joke that only two of you will get. Sorry.
There was a point to this, I promise. I was just thinking about germs, and I thought I should tell you that I am oddly germaphobic. I don't really obsess about germs lurking in a pile of dirty dishes (I hate them for other reasons but not enough to do them myself, apparently) or even under the toilet seat at home. No, I worry about the invisibles that you touch all day long in weird places, like public restrooms (not a weird one, I know) and keyboards and desks. So, what I was wondering is.. what kind of oddities do you people have about germs? Is there anything that you are totally resistant to touching for fear of germs? Will you throw food away if it falls on the table (I always do in public, sometimes at home too.) Do you freak out at people who eat their breakfast sandwiches directly on the kitchen table? (That totally freaks me out, enough so that M actually has stopped even when I'm not around. Except at his parents' house, which I found humorous since he hadn't even noticed that he had done it. You can't teach an old dog new tricks entirely, I guess.) Do you let your silverware touch the table? Do you regularly clean something to ward off germs? Or are you the opposite--do you really not care if your butt touches a public restroom toilet seat? (I cringe just thinking about it.) Do you use those air dryers with wild abandon? Do you lay a strirring spoon on top of a box that food came in while you cook? Tell me!
And since I am inviting you to talk about your neurotic tendencies or lack thereof, I'll start with my own two favorite germ issues.
I will not put a lemon in my tea in a restaraunt and I've been known to ask for my tea without a lemon, even though I don't dislike it. Here's the thing. No one washes lemons. Take this from the produce girl, alright? It was while I still worked at the store that I developed this phobia. Refrigerator space was always at a premium, so, to save space, I started putting our extra lemons in the crisper. On one particular day, the box turned over while I was kneeling there in the floor. I didn't even think about it, just grabbed them all from the floor and put them on in the crisper. From there, they were taken out front and sold, and.. well, have you ever washed a lemon? And that doesn't even count what happened when they were picked (hey, did the handlers stop to take a potty break without washing their hands?) So. Yes, wash your fruits and vegetables, but I just don't trust that all people think of lemons as something that need washed.
In a public bathroom, I unroll enough toilet paper to cover at least one round and set it aside before unrolling some for personal use. This is also a recent one. Do you ever touch the top of the roll for leverage while you tear off a piece, to keep it from unrolling? Because I have done that, particularly if the roll is touchy, and it occured to me that others probably do too, and the piece on there when you walk in? That was the last piece they touched when they were finished wiping. Yuck.
It has occured to me that this is the last thing in the world I should be asking. M will whop me when he gets home for attempting to expand my germ phobias.
*Obviously I'm kidding. I like being married more than anyone I've ever met. Because I don't like cheesecake, and M doesn't care much for American desserts at all so we're perfectly suited, and that's a joke that only two of you will get. Sorry.
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